Married life for me is not all about Instagram-worthy photos and likable statuses. There are a lot of things that are more valuable than grand weddings and luxury things. I have summed them up, these beautiful lessons that are now so dear to my heart.

Agency and Accountability

Every choice I make has a corresponding consequence. I need to make better choices because I am not the only one being affected by the results. I have a husband and I have children. My posterity depend on my daily decisions. We are tightly interconnected. What happens to me can also impact them.

Gratitude

When I am grateful I am happy. I learned, over the course of my marriage, to be content with what we have and to be patient with the Lord’s timetable. Gratitude gave me staying power to help me trust in the Lord. Marriage taught me to see the beauty in every situation, how every little thing – both good and bad – contributes to the canvas like strokes of a painting.

Education

Never stop learning. Marriage taught me to cook, bake, tend a garden, manage finances, and many more things. It gave me the drive to educate myself, especially when children came. My husband and I needed to upgrade our intellect. He learned a trade in law school and I continued learning employable skills. Our children have seen this over the years and they understand the value of education.

Family

My daughter once said, “I am surrounded by wonderful people everyday and they are called my family.” The essence of family is when someone feels good being with you. Marriage taught me to do my part so we can build a home where wonderful things can happen. It taught me to be more cheerful, more repentant, more forgiving, more positive, and to work harder… It taught me what it takes to be a family.

Friends

Friendship took on a different meaning when I got married. We can be friends with everyone but we need to choose those who influence us for the better. Marriage taught me to better choose my friends. There are those who we choose to let influence us, and there are those who we need to influence. I learned the difference between the two. And it is never a question whether to choose friends over family. Family always comes first.

Language

A Filipino adage teaches that we need to think seven times before we say something. Communication is vital in relationships. My marriage taught me when to speak and when to keep quiet. Most importantly, it taught me “how” to speak. We can learn to be articulate over the years, but civility must never fade. This is sometimes very challenging as we become more familiar with each family member but we’ll save ourselves a lot of grief if we learn to tame our tongue.

Honesty

This eternal principle has never been more vital than in a marriage relationship: in thoughts, in words, in finances, in plans… in everything. There were times when it was very easy to be honest. And there were times when we needed the Lord’s help to either show honesty to or accept honesty from our spouse. The bottom line is: I have learned to avoid secrets. More secrets often means more lies…

Tithes and Offerings

When I got married, it became more apparent why paying tithing, fasting and giving fast offerings are very important. I learned to see money with another perspective – the Lord’s perspective. If we wanted our family to be more self-reliant, we needed to be better stewards over what the Lord had given. Observing these principles taught me to budget well – both our money and my time. It made me appreciate our blessings more.

Service to Others

I’ve always had a desire to make a difference in the world. Yet what good is it to save the world when we can’t even serve those who are nearest to us? There is a reason why our spouse and our children are placed near us. The Lord taught me a great deal about service through marriage and family: to put them above and before myself. In family life, as a mother, it comes naturally. There has never been a better avenue for service than in family life.

Go Forward with Faith

The best things in life are worth fighting for. Marriage is now mocked by popular worldly beliefs. The family is under constant attack, and we need to fight back. I learned to kneel and ask for the Lord’s help, because I know I cannot do it alone. I know I need to walk by faith every single day and depend on the Lord. There is only so much I can do by myself and giving up is not an option.

Being married, I know I have grown in knowledge and character. Every day I am still learning and I don’t intend to stop. A wise Heavenly Father has designed marriage and family life so His spirit children can reach their full potential. It is, for me, a preparation for the eternities.

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To the unfaithful spouse who has broken the hearts of his family and friends, it is also a difficult time for you. Since all empathy may be directed to the betrayed, it is no surprise that you are left with the blame and harsh labels. You are broken as well. But as to all sinners, the Savior calls to you to come unto Him and know that He can make you whole again. But you need to pay the price.

You Have Offended God

When Alma counseled his son Corianton, he made it clear that adultery is “an abomination in the sight of the Lord… most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost…” (Alma 39:5) Like other sins, infidelity in marriage offends our Heavenly Father. The damage that is caused by this offense is far reaching and, in a way, meddles with the Plan of Salvation. This is so because it is an attack on the family which is the most important unit in Heavenly Father’s Plan. The bitter fruits of infidelity do not only affect the betrayed spouse, but all people that are connected to the couple. The family unit is threatened as well as the structure of a community, a nation, and mankind as a whole. The work and the glory of God is the welfare of mankind. To do something that would endanger that is truly an offense to Him. An offending spouse must realize this truth because, hopefully, this will lead him or her to repentance.

You can Be Forgiven

In the Plan of Salvation, the healing power of the Atonement encompasses all sins and all sorrows. We can always look to the Savior’s great sacrifice so we can be made whole again. The offending spouse can hope for forgiveness. But there is a process. He or she needs to go through the process of repentance. To be forgiven is not easy but it is possible. Take the first step of accepting that your acts have offended God and your fellow beings – your family and the people involved. Once in the path, hold on to the hope that everything will make sense eventually – the pain, the hardships, the sacrifices – all of these things will make your path to forgiveness more meaningful. Most importantly, you needn’t feel that you are all alone in the process. The Savior has promised to succor us in times of need. During this time, He is always there to sustain and help his prodigal children come back home.

Understand What the Betrayed is Feeling

Respect how your spouse feels on the matter. Understand that he or she is probably using a biological response to defend himself or herself from the trauma. He or she may fight, flee, or freeze. Care for your spouse and, however hard it is not to be defensive, try to truly listen. There must be a questioning/communication process wherein you can ask your spouse what you can do to help. Your infidelity may cause your spouse to react violently, to leave you or to just take time to be alone. Respect that. Try hard not to impose your thoughts or your feelings. This is part of the process of making things better. The road you are traveling with your spouse is not going to be easy. There is no specific amount of time this process will take, but know that these things must be endured with patience and an understanding heart.

There is Life after Infidelity

Let’s face it. However hard we hope, we cannot be 100% sure that all offending spouses will be able to keep their marriage intact. Whether the marriage can be saved or not, life must go on. It is sad to know that some marriages do not survive the aftermath of infidelity but it is noteworthy that there are a good number of couples who have gone through the process and are living their lives together, having learned and grown from the experience. All wounds heal in time. It is all up to us if we let the scars pull us down or push us forward. Continue faithfully in the path of repentance and no matter what happens, strive hard to be better every single day. Life is not only limited to our mortal existence so let us keep on moving forward for there is an eternity waiting.

We do not openly talk about the issue of infidelity. Maybe because we don’t feel comfortable talking to the unfaithful spouse or the betrayed spouse. It may even be seen as gossiping by some if we talk about this problem. But it is something we need to address, so that when we know someone who is suffering from these things, whether directly or indirectly, we may know how to help them.

Amid all the brokenness, the Savior offers a bond that can heal things back together again – whether as a family or as an individual. Only He can bind the hearts that have been shattered and the souls that have been torn apart by the sin of infidelity. We cannot expect a perfect world now but we can hope for a bright future where all things will make sense and where everyone will have gained the experience needed to be worthy to be with Heavenly Father again.

To those who have been been betrayed by a cheating spouse, you can take these steps towards healing:

4 Steps You Need to Take If You Find Out Your Spouse is Cheating On You: A Look Into the Issue of Infidelity (Part 1 of 2)

The post Things an Offending Spouse Needs to Keep in Mind In Order to Save their Marriage: A Look Into the Issue of Infidelity (Part 2 of 2) appeared first on morefaith.ph.

Step 1. Take a Deep Breath

I know this one seems so simple that you might question its significance. However, when you hear such devastating news, you need to first stabilize your heartbeat, regain composure and remind yourself that this is reality. Breathing consciously gives you the pause you need to be able to digest what has just happened. Let yourself come to terms with what you have just learned and don’t forget to take those needed deep breaths.

Step 2. Talk to Someone You Trust

At this point, a wild storm of emotions rages inside of you. You want to shout, bawl, and shout again. That is normal. But it is not healthy to keep these feelings all to yourself. Those emotions brewing up inside of you need to be expressed. Find someone you can talk to. Someone you know you can pour all your thoughts and feelings out to and not be judged. Of course, prayer is such a great help but you  also need to talk to someone you can interact with in times of emotional distress. We all need someone we can open up to, someone who can help us deal with such a heart-wrenching trial. It may be a family member, a friend you trust, your Bishop, or a professional counselor.

Step 3. Talk to Your Spouse in Front of that Someone You Trust

Okay. This may sound weird. I know. Why not talk directly to your spouse, right? Just the two of you. Why involve someone else? Well, not everyone has the same level of maturity when it comes to things like this. We all differ in our reactions and in our acceptance. And confronting a cheating spouse is never easy. You may not be ready on your own to handle the information you just discovered, let alone open up about your shattered feelings with your spouse. If possible, call on someone who can help mediate the discussion. There is no script, unfortunately. But you can make one if you like. You just have to get through it, and deal with the specifics as they arise. At least you will have someone who can regulate the heat if needed.

Step 4. Decide with Your Spouse How to Move Forward

Remember, complete forgiveness is possible with time and effort, and marriage is important, but that doesn’t mean you are forced to stay in a toxic relationship. It is not an easy or quick process to forgive an offending spouse, but it is possible, if both spouses are willing to work together to mend what has been broken. And no matter how hard it is to talk to your spouse about life after adultery, you must do it. You have built a life together. It may be a few months or decades. Deciding what you will do from here, will require both of your thoughts and perspectives. He or she may not want to talk about it but it is crucial that you tell your spouse what you think and feel, and what you believe would be the best thing to do next.

Betrayal is very painful. When you were chosen by your spouse to be “the One”, you became their confidant and their partner. So when your spouse cheats on you, you begin to question yourself. “Am I still lovable? What is wrong with me?” This is why infidelity causes such deep pain. But healing is possible. You can rise above the sorrow and live life with hope. You will need to take more than just these 4 steps to put your life in order again but it will happen. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, our small efforts will be enough. You will need not question whether you deserve love or not for He has given His life for you. That is reason enough that you do.

To those who have betrayed their spouses through their infidelity, you can take the path that leads to forgiveness and healing:

Things an Offending Spouse Needs to Keep in Mind In Order to Save their Marriage: A Look Into the Issue of Infidelity (Part 2 of 2)

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Cheating Financially

Earnings and spending between spouses need to be transparent. If spouses hide how much money is coming in or going out, it can result in unanswered questions. Husbands and wives need to work together towards financial security and self-reliance. There is much wisdom in this counsel because most marriages that fail have problems or disagreements with money one way or another. The burden of managing finances falls upon both husband and wife NOT just on one of them. To hide information about money matters is cheating in a way.

Secrets

It is said that the more secrets, the more lies. Secrets do not need to be about sexual relations outside marriage to be considered dangerous. It can be as simple as not saying where you’re at or what you are doing when your spouse asks. One may rationalize that he or she is not doing anything bad. “I just want to have my own space and I don’t want anyone asking me about it,” they might say. Nevertheless, it is still keeping things from your spouse. It is not an issue of trust but of personal integrity. Your spouse may believe what you tell him or her because he or she trusts you, but would you really be doing the right thing in such a situation?

Backstabbing

Speaking ill of your spouse is a form of cheating. A spouse is supposed to be the one that builds up and protects their partner. Talking behind your spouse’s back is destroying his or her reputation. This is even worse if you are saying bad things about your spouse in front of your children. Again, one may rationalize that they are just telling the obvious truth or just describing their children’s father or mother, but the question is, “Will that do any good? Will that help?” Concerns between a husband and wife need to be settled between the husband and wife. Bringing it up to other people may create a bigger problem than what is already plaguing the couple.

Complete fidelity is required in a marriage relationship. “Fidelity to one’s marriage vows is absolutely essential for love, trust, and peace.” In these times, infidelity can guise itself in different subtle forms that, if we are not careful, will take a toll on our marriages. Many can fall captive to these not-so-obvious snares of the adversary. May we watch our thoughts and examine our hearts to check if we are already cheating on our spouses. More importantly, may we have the courage to admit if we have done wrong and ask the Lord for help to repent, mend our ways, and strengthen our marriages.

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Why?

It’s an assurance that love that does not end in “Till Death Do Us Part.”

A common phrase heard in many  traditional marriages is “till death do you part.” A line that – though often associated with love and romance – is actually a sad notion that the bond that binds you and your spouse will ultimately be severed at death. Marriage for time and all eternity is different – it’s a bond that transcends the grave. It is an assurance – some may call it extended warranty – that the loving relationships we nurture in this life will still be with us, even in the next life. Marriage in the temple, not only for time but for all eternity, is a meaningful promise that, indeed, love is forever.

It binds husbands and wives not only here but in the life to come.

Who doesn’t want to spend forever with the one they love? The mere thought of losing a best friend is hard enough – imagine if it was your spouse or your children. Have you ever wondered what happens to husbands and wives after they die? Will they still be husband and wife even after death? In an eternal marriage, the answer is yes. With proper priesthood authority – a power that assures “[whatever] shalt thou bound on earth shall be bound in Heaven” – couples who are sealed for time and all eternity will still enjoy and keep the marriage relationship they have, even though death has already claimed their mortal lives. Elder Russell M. Nelson once said of the blessing of eternal marriage: “The noblest yearning of the human heart is for a marriage that can endure beyond death. Fidelity to a temple marriage does that. It allows families to be together forever.”

It seals children to parents – it makes relationships forever.

The blessings of an eternal marriage are not exclusive to the husband and wife only. The sealing power of marriage for time and all eternity is extended to their children – meaning parents will be with their children, not only in this life but in the life to come. This promise has brought comfort to many parents who has lost children – death only separates parents from children for a short time. When a couple is married or if a family is sealed for time and all eternity, the relationship they enjoy in this life will still be theirs in the life to come. President Henry B. Eyring said “Our loving Heavenly Father knows our hearts. His purpose is to give us happiness (see 2 Nephi 2:25). And so He gave the gift of His Son to make possible the joy of family bonds that continue forever.” A family relationship that triumphs over death all starts with a marriage for time and all eternity.

An Eternal Marriage is an evidence of how the Lord treasures families.

God intended family to be eternal. We are not simply sent on this earth to live and die. We’re here to learn and become like Him. The Lord gave us families – families we love. Can you imagine if the great love and relationships you’ve shared here on earth were all gone after death? Of course, each family member’s choices will be taken into consideration. But families who have kept their covenants will not be denied the sweet joy of reuniting with family members who have gone before. Because if there’s a marriage for time and all eternity, a family’s love has no end.

So, what is marriage for time and all eternity? It’s one of God’s greatest gifts not only to the couple who gets sealed in the Temple, but to their future children and generations. It’s what makes families eternal – love is no longer just “till death do you part.”

To learn more about temple marriage or eternal marriage, visit https://www.lds.org/topics/marriage?lang=eng.

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And it did come!

12 years later and I am left with a myriad of lessons and valuable experiences.

But married life for me has not been all about Instagram-worthy photos and likable statuses. There were times when I asked myself if I had made the right choice to marry. And, I must confess, there were times I wished I had chosen otherwise…

He is Not All Mine

After our wedding, my husband was immediately called as the Second Counselor in the bishopric. At first, it was okay because it was just the two of us. But when the children came, I was left alone to watch over them during Sacrament meetings. Every time he was released from a calling, he just got called to another.

Five kids later and I am still left to tend to them during Sacrament meetings because of my husband’s current calling. Imagine the effort just to help them behave appropriately for more than an hour. There were times I felt so tired that I cried myself out in the CR just so the children wouldn’t see me.

Because I wanted so much to have him all to myself, I forgot that my husband is, first and foremost, a son of God. He has a divine role to watch over the souls of those entrusted to his care. Not just me or our children. I also forget sometimes that I am his helpmeet, someone who needs to support him in his God-given callings.

I Am Not All His

When you marry someone, you are to give your all to the one you made your vows to. I wanted to give all of my time to my husband and cater to his needs. It was so for a year.

Then we had our firstborn. I thought, “I can manage. I can still be the ideal wife that he comes home to.”

Then another child… Less time to prepare meals.

The third one came… Less time to do my hair and makeup.

Then came the fourth… Too tired to wait up for him after Law School.

Then the fifth arrived… No more weekly dates.

Feelings of inadequacy and frustration sometimes overcome me. And again, I forgot that I have divine roles as a woman – to serve not only my husband but the souls entrusted to my care, especially my children.

The “Uh-huh” Moments

Every moment spent apart, serving people other than each other, was a teaching moment for us.

My husband has become a positive influence on the people he is serving. I see lives touched. His example is appreciated. I have seen him grow in ways I never could have imagined had he stayed with me all the time.

I look at our children and I feel solace. The joy they bring to my husband can never be replaced by whatever romantic ideas I had in mind. I have given of myself to him in ways I could never have done have I not spent that much time with the kids.

It dawned on me that it is not about my husband. It is not about me. This whole marriage thing is not about us at all…

Marriage is part of a bigger whole, an avenue for a loving Father in Heaven to magnify two people in a synergistic relationship. What I can do alone and what my husband can do by himself, added up, can never be greater than what we can do together.

That’s how marriage fits into the great Plan of Happiness. It broadens our opportunities to take part in building the Kingdom of God. It increases our capacity to love, to serve and to take care of God’s children.

We have changed. Our perspective, our desires and our efforts are slowly being tailored to what the Lord wants for us as a married couple. Perfection is still way beyond where we are right now. But as I look at our children and the people we have the opportunity to serve, I know I have made the right choice. My efforts in preparing for and sustaining our marriage are all worth it.

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Gift Goals

One of the biggest challenges of finding Christmas gifts is that sometimes, we can’t be sure if the item we’re planning to give will be helpful to our beloved recipient. This dilemma can make gift-giving stressful, but what if you and your sweetheart sat down together and listed your goals for the following year? If she lists down “I want to learn how to paint,” you might get the idea of giving her a paint set for Christmas. If one of his goals is to be more frugal, you can then give him a book that will help him reach for that goal. Not only will you strengthen your relationship by letting each other know your hopes and dreams, you can also be sure that the gift you will give your other half this Christmas will be helpful in the pursuit of their goals and dreams.

Secret Santa

Every time I think about the happiness that comes from serving others anonymously, I remember President Gordon B. Hinckley’s Mormon Message entitled, “Lessons I Learned As A Boy” where he shared the story of two young boys who gave service to a poor man anonymously. Little did they know that the simple service they gave was a tender mercy to that man who had a sick wife and hungry kids. We can never truly know all the needs of the people around us, but we can do something to let them know that people still care for them. While out on a date, you and your spouse can observe and learn more about the people you interact with. From there, you can plan a “Secret Santa Mission” where you anonymously give gifts to people you care about. The thrill and the knowledge that you made someone happy on Christmas day will make the Secret Santa Mission a memory you can always look back on fondly with your spouse.

Adopt-a-Friend on Christmas

Nothing beats a Christmas celebrated with family. However, not everyone will be fortunate enough to come home during Christmas time. Some celebrate it without any company. Newlyweds who are far from their respective families may feel a bit lonesome their first Christmas. To make the experience a memorable one, newly weds can establish a tradition of adopting a friend for Christmas Eve dinner. Not only are you building a pattern of service for your married life, you will also create many great memories with others as you share the love of the Savior.

Sing Some Carols

Starting newlywed Christmas traditions does not automatically mean you have to shell out a lot of money. In fact, some of the greatest traditions you can do come for free. For example, singing carols for your neighbors. Spread the Christmas spirit to your friends and neighbors by singing a couple of songs for free. You can also visit orphanages, nursing homes, and hospitals where you can sing for and cheer up patients.

Focus On Christlike Attributes

During the 2012 First Presidency Christmas Devotional, Pres. Thomas S. Monson said, “We find happiness when we make the Savior the focus of the season.” Of course, there are so many newlywed Christmas traditions that you can start but we should never forget to put Christ first on the list. This Christmas season, let your activities be focused more on Christ. You can go and watch nativity pageants, set regular temple dates, list down Christlike attributes you want to improve, or listen to inspiring talks about Jesus Christ. For a yearender activity, you can set a goal of Christlike attributes you want to develop for the coming year.

Newlywed Christmas Traditions: A Great Start

Shifting from celebrating Christmas with family to celebrating the season with your spouse can be quite an adjustment, an adjustment that might sometimes feel lonely. But as you establish service-oriented Christmas traditions with your spouse, Christmases with your beloved other half will become more and more exciting through the years.  

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The Call For Mothers To Nurture In The Home

The leaders of the Church constantly encourage women to become the best that they can be. This includes getting a good education and gaining skills that can help them become amazing mothers, wives, and contributors to society. However, this encouragement is not meant to lead women to choose a career over marriage and motherhood. In the Family: A Proclamation To The World, Church leaders clearly remind women of their divine calling at home.

“By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and the protection of their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”

Leaders invite mothers to choose home. The world may already be ridiculing this “mommy career,” but there is no denying it is the one of greatest importance. Although we are not required to become stay-at-home Mormon moms, the Lord, through His leaders, has revealed where a mother’s first priority should really be. Consider the words of Pres. Ezra Taft Benson:

“It is mother’s influence during the crucial formative years that forms a child’s basic character.

Home is the place where a child learns faith, feels love, and thereby learns from mother’s loving example to choose righteousness.

How vital are mother’s influence and teaching in the home—and how apparent when neglected!”

The Noble Sacrifices Of Working Mormon Mothers

Even though the leaders of the Church strongly encourage mothers to choose their roles as nurturers and providers, there is no denying that there are circumstances that could prevent a mom from being able to stay at home. Here are words from Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley:

“I recognize … that there are some women (it has become very many, in fact) who have to work to provide for the needs of their families. To you I say, do the very best you can. I hope that if you are employed full-time you are doing it to ensure that basic needs are met and not simply to indulge a taste for an elaborate home, fancy cars, and other luxuries.”

The Family: A Proclamation to the World also states “Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation”

The encouragement to women to make home the first priority does not make working Mormon moms of lesser value. It is awesome to think that these women, who contribute a great deal to society, still take their time to become dedicated and wonderful mothers to their children. I, myself, am a daughter of a working mom and I have seen firsthand the noble sacrifices she made and continues to make for us, her children. She is amazing.

Working Mormon moms who strive to make both ends meet are wonderful. Their sacrifices to leave their children at home, no matter how difficult it is, should not be overlooked. Their ability to still mother, despite their exhaustion, just to provide for the needs of their children should be acknowledged. These working Mormon women should not be judged just because they are away from home.

Stay-at-Home Mormon Moms: The Challenges and Blessings

Being a stay-at-home LDS mom comes with challenges and blessings. Taking care of the family is one exhausting job. There are moments, perhaps, when you cannot help but compare your life to other women who are already so established in their chosen career. However, mothers do find fulfillment in being at home. Jessica, an at-home parent, says “Just seeing my son smiling at me is enough to wipe away all the challenges.“ Elder Neal A. Maxwell said on the topic of motherhood:

“When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?”

Mormon women are not required to stay at home. But they know that their role is an important one, established by the Lord since the beginning of time, and that is best fulfilled from inside the home.

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No one can say that he or she has learned enough from the scriptures. The more one reads, the more one learns. Not only can a diligent reader learn about gospel principles and truths, they can also discover subtle tips about life and relationships that even the best self-help books out there can’t give. If one takes the time to read scriptural love stories, they can learn so much. Here are some examples of love and marriage from the scriptures that we can take inspiration from.

1.) Adam and Eve: Learning Together with the Lord

Part of every marriage is the opportunity to learn something new together. It was on a much different level for Adam and Eve. Both were new on the Earth, enjoyed the blessings of the garden of Eden, and consequently had to learn their way in the lone and dreary world. Needless to say, without other people to turn to, the couple relied on the Lord and His instructions.

In new relationships, learning together with the help of the Lord is important. There will be times when challenges will arise. There will be moments of uncertainty. There will be stages where a new couple could feel helpless. Like Adam and Eve, they should learn how to navigate through life with the Lord’s guidance and help.

2.) Jacob and Rachel: Service and Sacrifice

” And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.” (Gen 29:18)

For Jacob, it was love at first sight. In the scriptures, Rachel was described as “beautiful” and Jacob was willing to serve a long time for Rachel. Despite Jacob’s service, Laban, Rachel’s father was not true to his word. So Jacob had to serve another seven years. However, those years were described as “they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her…” (Genesis 29: 20)

Service and sacrifice are important in nurturing relationships, especially the relationship between a husband and a wife. When selfless service is done for a spouse, the love increases and feelings become tender. President Ezra Taft Benson spilled the beans on happy marriages. He said “The secret of a happy marriage is to serve God and each other.” Think of the moments when a spouse’s service helped bring tender feelings to your relationship.

3.) Joseph and Mary: Accepting the Lord’s Will

No one exactly knows what was in Joseph’s mind before the angel told him about Mary conceiving a Son. Perhaps he had other plans in mind. Despite of that, the Savior’s earthly father wholeheartedly accepted the Lord’s will and plan for both of them.

There will come a time in every couple’s life when the Lord’s will is different from what they have planned. One of the most essential attributes a husband and wife must have is the ability to accept and follow the will of the Lord no matter how difficult and different it is.

4.) Nephi and his Wife: Standing Strong in Afflictions

The journey of Lehi’s family to the Promised Land came with all kinds of challenges and trials. One of these trials was the rebellion of Laman and Lemuel. On one occasion, while on the ship leading to the Land of Promise, the two elder sons of Lehi tied Nephi up. Nephi’s wife together with her children prayed to the Lord and wept to Laman and Lemuel to free Nephi. It’s safe to assume that she stayed with her husband during that terrible ordeal.

Husbands and wives are each other’s strength. In times of great affliction — health problems, rebellious children, financial woes — men and women should be the anchor of one another, both relying on each other’s strength and testimony. Problems may not easily be solved but they can be less painful when shared with each other.

5.) Joseph and Emma Smith: Seeing True Potential

Joseph Smith’s educational attainment was humble compared to Emma’s. She was learned while he was just a plain worker. Despite the differences, Emma Hale married the future Prophet. Even after many years and heartbreaking trials, Emma stayed by the Prophet’s side.

Elder Robert D. Hales said “We don’t marry perfection, we marry potential.” Husband and wife must learn to see each other’s divine potential. It is inevitable that weaknesses will be brought in a marriage, however, when both see the potential innate in their eternal companion, improvement follows.

Isn’t it wonderful that the scriptures also address topics like marriages and eternal companionships? Learning from the examples of these couples can also help us as we strive to achieve happy marriages and families.

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I told myself that I would be very careful in choosing someone when I got married. I was so afraid I would make a mistake in choosing someone to trust and later on have my marriage fail. My mother always told me that choosing the right person to marry is the most important and critical decision you will ever make in your life.

Most people believe in a soulmate. They believe that there is someone who is really destined for you.  I thought it was true too, but as I’ve grown up, I have come to understand that it is I who will decide. It is I who will make that certain man the right one and perfect for me.

Dondi and I were really good friends before we fell in love with each other and got married. I have come to know some of his strength and weaknesses. I got to know what he likes and what he doesn’t. We both knew that we were not perfect individuals before we got married.

Marrying him is the most beautiful thing and the right decision I ever made in my life. But just like older people say, marriage is not like a bed of roses. Along your journey as husband and wife, there are trials and challenges that will come. Your love and loyalty to each other will be put to the test and your commitment to each other will be measured. There will be times when you might ask yourself if you married the right person.

I am grateful for the restored gospel. It guides us in our everyday lives. It brings us hope that families are forever. It reminds me of who I am and helps me understand my role in the Lord’s great plan. Every time I felt like I am already pushing my limit, my Father in Heaven helps me remember that I have a husband who will always help me with my weakness and imperfections.

I remember asking the Lord many times if he was the one for me, and I know Heavenly Father has helped me know that he was the right man to marry. My husband shared with me once his great secret to remaining strong. He said, “You know what, Mama? Since we got married whenever I am having a hard time at work or problem, I always go back to the feeling that I had inside the temple on our wedding day. That feeling comforts me that the Lord gave us His blessing in our marriage. I know that He is guiding us.”

After hearing that from my husband I know for sure that it is true. There may be times when our trials will make us weak, will show our differences from one another, but I hope that you never forget the reason why you chose that person to be your husband or your wife.

None of us are perfect, but if you can accept your spouse’s weaknesses, if you are willing to help that person be at his/her best every day, while they help you in turn, then you absolutely married the right person.

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