Repentance is a powerful balm we can access when we need to turn away from sin and come back to the light. 

Heavenly Father, in His profound love, offers repentance as a path to relief and renewal. Through Jesus Christ’s sacrifice, we can acknowledge our mistakes and be freed from their burden. This act of grace allows us to embrace forgiveness and find peace, guiding us back to divine love and happiness.

“But, repentance is hard. I want to feel God’s love again, but how can I do that when I have sinned so much, and I’m terrified I can’t be forgiven anymore?” 

Have you ever felt this way about repentance? 

Even though repentance is a beautiful gift from a loving Heavenly Father, the thought of going through the repentance process can be challenging and overwhelming for some. 

Apart from the commitment and the effort we need to put into asking God for forgiveness, we also have to deal with the fears that come with repentance. 

How do we overcome these fears? And how do we find the strength to continue even if repentance is hard? 

The Road to Repentance is Hard Because It Requires Effort

Repentance is like going back up after slipping downhill during a hike. 

The slip brings you down fast, but the hike back up – where you get to see stunning views and the majestic skies – requires double the effort. 

Just like sliding down the hill, falling into sin is easy. 

Getting back up through repentance takes great courage, strength, humility, tears, and perseverance.  

Because true repentance will cause us a “mighty change of heart,” it will ask us to make mighty efforts. Repentance will change us, but before we experience this change, we must work. 

Repentance is Hard Because Satan Works to Make It Harder

Our Heavenly Father absolutely understands that repentance is not easy, but He also knows that forgiveness for our sins is possible. 

Satan, however, wants to flip the truth. 

Another reason why repentance is hard is because Satan – the great adversary – wants us to believe it is so much more complicated. 

He whispers lies telling us “Why do you need to repent? You’ve sinned so much.” 

“You’re a lost case.” 

“You aren’t even a good person.” 

Satan wants us to doubt the Lord’s capacity to hear us, forgive us, and see us for who we are beyond the mistakes we have committed. 

And he is committed to doing that because he “for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself” 

Without repentance, we fall into misery. 

And one of the most potent ways that Satan stops us from really repenting is by instilling fear in our minds. These fears are – in reality – built on lies. 

8 Fears That Makes Repentance Hard

Fear #1: God Won’t Listen to Me Anymore

Finding hope for forgiveness becomes difficult when we feel that Heavenly Father has turned His back on us because of our mistakes. 

Unintentionally, we begin to see Him as this boss we need to please rather than a loving Father in Heaven who has been waiting for us to come back to Him. 

Just like the Father in the Story of the Prodigal Son, Heavenly Father is eagerly waiting, and looking forward to our return! All we need to do is take the first step. 

Fear #2: God Sees My Sin, So I Don’t Think He’ll Find Hope in Me

When discussing second chances, it’s best to remember the story of Saul, who later became Paul. As a stalwart persecutor of Christ’s believers, Saul had done seemingly unforgivable things. 

But the Lord sees differently. When talking to Ananias in a vision, He reminded the man that Saul – despite His mistakes – was still a chosen vessel to Him. 

He saw beyond Saul’s mistakes. He can see beyond ours. 

Fear #3: Repentance is Hard Because God Has Ran Out of Patience for Me

God’s forgiveness is infinite. But He does expect us to forsake our sins. Some of us can do it immediately, while others might take a while to reach their goal. 

The blessing of repentance is that it’s available for those who choose to repent, even through small, simple steps. 

God knows that in our journey toward becoming better, there will still be moments when we will fall short. The principle of repentance is a constant reminder that no failure ever needs to be final because the chance to start again is always there. 

Fear #4: I’ve Traveled So Far From God’s Light

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, an Apostle of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, worded this comforting process beautifully: 

“But however late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines.” 

Satan works twice as hard to make us believe that we have become so bad, so unworthy, and so undeserving of God’s forgiveness. However, if we only listen again to our Father in Heaven, we will know that even before we step back into the light, God already has His hands outstretched.

Fear #5: I’m Going to Do It Again

The fear of repeating sins can be daunting. Yet, remember, repentance is a journey, not a one-time act. God’s mercy is boundless; He welcomes our sincere efforts to change, no matter how often we falter. His grace empowers us, turning our fears into stepping stones for growth. Embrace this continuous path with hope, knowing that each step towards repentance is a step closer to divine love and transformation.

Fear #6: People Will Know and They Will Talk

One common fear is the worry about others discovering our transgressions and the subsequent judgment that may follow. 

This fear can be paralyzing, causing us to shy away from seeking forgiveness. 

However, it’s essential to remember that repentance is a personal journey between you and God. 

The opinions of others, while they may seem daunting, hold no power over God’s infinite mercy and love.

Fear #7: I’m Scared of Facing My Mistakes

Confronting our past actions can be incredibly painful. 

The guilt and shame associated with acknowledging our wrongdoings often deter us from repentance. 

Yet, facing our mistakes is a crucial step towards healing and growth. It’s about understanding the impact of our actions and developing a genuine desire to change. 

Remember, this fear is a sign of your conscience at work, indicating that you can choose better and, therefore, the potential for real, profound change.

Fear #8: Fear of the Next Steps

The uncertainty of what lies ahead can make the journey of repentance seem overwhelming. 

Questions like “What if I can’t change?” or “What if I fail again?” may cloud your mind. 

But the beauty of repentance lies in the process itself – it’s a step-by-step journey, not a sudden leap to perfection. 

Embrace each step with faith, knowing that with the Atonement, you are never alone. Each effort, no matter how small, is significant in the eyes of God.

3 Ways to Find Strength to Repent When You Have a Hard Time Repenting

#1: Trust in the Knowledge That God Wants You to Repent

Why did God send Noah, Moses, and even Jesus Christ to the world? One of their biggest callings was to call people to repentance. 

Because in truth, no matter how dark our choices have been, God wants us to repent, to change, to come back to Him and feel the happiness of choosing Him once again. 

#2: Know That The Atonement Makes Repentance Absolutely Possible

One of the most beautiful verses in the Bible can be found in Isaiah 1:18. It talks about the promise that even though our “sins be as scarlet, it shall be as white as snow.” 

How is this even possible? It is all because of the Atonement. 

Christ died for us, so we can always, always go back to our Heavenly Father. His Atonement makes repentance a gift, not a punishment. 

#3: Ask for Guidance from Heavenly Father

Humbly ask for help from our Heavenly Father. He will lead you to the right people, give you the strength to face your mistakes and persevere no matter how hard repentance gets, and help you feel His love as you go through repentance. 

Receiving help from the heavens can sustain us when people talk, when the steps become difficult, and when we stumble along the way. 

You Can Repent No Matter How Hard It Is

Contrary to the lies of Satan, repentance is the better choice. Although it is hard, it is – ultimately – the only sure way to happiness in this life and in the life to come. 

If you have questions about repentance, we’re here to help. You can talk to us by sending us a message on our social media channels or by contacting us here.

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There are times in life when the tunnels seem long, so long that we doubt if there really is an end. But there have been a few people who have inspired me to hold on and never stop hoping. In their example I have found strength. Their light has served as a beacon for me during my low times.

The Tunnel of Physical Infirmities

In this mortal probation, our physical bodies are subject to pain and disease. From a common cold to debilitating cancer, there are numerous threats to health.

One woman in the prime of her life, a mother of two girls, found out that she had breast cancer. I could not imagine how the news affected the family. A surgery was required to remove the affected parts of her body and she had to go through a series of radiation and chemotherapy treatments. It would have been easy for her to just give up, just let the illness and the depression consume her whole being after enduring such a painful process for so long. But the hope of spending more time with her girls and watching them grow up helped her win the battle one day at a time.

The Tunnel of Betrayal and Infidelity

We do not have control over other people. But choices other people make can make or break us – especially the people that are very close to us.

A woman I know found out one day that her husband was having an affair. She was pregnant with her third child at the time. The dilemma of confronting her husband and the uncertainty of what would happen after almost took the best out of her. Those times were tough for her, a mother raising two daughters while also being heavy with child, all because her husband had chosen to be with another woman. She could have just given up. She would have been justified giving up on her marriage. It would have been easier to just let go and move on with her life. Instead, she chose to forgive. With the hope that forgiveness brings peace, she was able to get through the tough times.

The Tunnel of Poverty

Poverty can break a soul but it does not have to if you do not allow it. Not all people see poverty the same way. There are those that have little but still find themselves provided for. And there are times when people have to fight tooth and nail just to have food for their families.

A widow left to raise six children found herself struggling to put food on the table. Even the most basic of necessities were very hard to find. Add to that the cost of sending them to school. A quick escape could have been a release. Thoughts of leaving the children – hungry and uneducated – almost clouded her mind but she chose otherwise. With the meager salary of a teacher, she was able to send all her children to school. She had hope in her heart that if the children were educated, they would have a brighter future. This fueled her desire to endure, scrimping and saving what little she had to raise a family on her own and producing professionals after years of sacrifice.

We cannot keep ourselves immune from the ailments of mortality, no matter how healthy we live. The people around us can hurt us deeply. We are often put in predicaments that make us feel helpless. But whenever we are sick, betrayed, depressed or pushed into a corner – when it seems like there is no escape, let us look towards the healing power of the Atonement. For with it comes the hope of better days ahead. Let the Savior rescue us from the grasps of anger, pain and sorrow. The atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ makes available to us the greatest source of hope – that someday all these struggles will be over, because the battle against pain – even death – has already been won. So no matter how long the tunnel is, we can always hope, and find light in the near distance. Never let go of hope! Healing, forgiveness, peace and joy are within our reach no matter how long it takes.

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And just as sweet as the victory over death is the chance to live a life that is happy and free from the burden of sin. The Atonement of the Savior affords forgiveness to everyone who is willing to repent and come unto Him. It offers a sense of freedom from the shackles of sin that come from breaking the commandments of the Lord.

We Can Be Forgiven

The weight we carry because of our mistakes can be unloaded. Jesus Christ has paid the price of justice and is offering mercy to all. This is the very essence of Easter – new beginnings. As we embrace what the Atonement can do for us, we will enjoy the freedom it gives us from sin. But to access the full blessings of His sacrifice, we must be willing to do what is required of us – faith, repentance and obedience to all of His commandments.

We Can Forgive Others

The suffering endured by Jesus Christ gives us the assurance that we will not suffer the way He did. That applies to all of God’s children all over the world. We can rest assured that whatever harm or pain inflicted on us by others has already been paid for. That is why we are required to forgive everyone. It is our duty to forgive because the price has already been paid. This is truly a relief for all who are burdened with grief because of others’ actions.

We Can Forgive Ourselves

Sometimes the one who is hardest for us to forgive is ourselves. We may be frustrated because we have goals we haven’t met. We may fall short of our expectations of ourselves. These feelings of inadequacy are stumbling blocks to personal progression. The Savior invited us to “be perfect” even as He is. We must remember that the sweet gift of forgiveness is available to all – especially to ourselves. We can continue to work on becoming the person we want to become because of the Atonement of the Son of God.

As we celebrate Easter, let us see beyond the Easter Bunny or the egg hunts. Let us find joy in the Savior and express gratitude for His Atonement. May we spread the light and hope the Atonement brings into our lives and to the lives of those around us. Let us offer the healing balm of forgiveness not only to those who may have wronged us, but to our aching souls as well.

The Savior died for us. But that is not the good news. On the third day, He arose victor over the enemy who is death. Because He lives, we can fully live our lives. Because He gave His life, we can claim ours.

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Can I Indulge Again?

I am a chips lover. Despite my desire to be fit, I still couldn’t resist my wanting for potato crisps. However, after giving birth, my perception on health changed. I suddenly want to become a healthy mom for my son. I started my change of eating habits with my grocery list. While at the store, I picked only the healthy options: whole what-bread, fruits, nuts, no pasta, no sweets. Then I came to the aisle of chips. Without second thought, I grabbed a tall can of Pringles. I even said to myself “This one bad thing won’t hurt.”

When we came home from the store, I laid out all my purchases and undeniably, the can of Pringles stood out. I opened the can, ate several of the chips, and the next thing I know, I already ate half of it. I have not even started my lifestyle change and there I was, already done with the 900 calories worth of chips. I felt ashamed and terribly guilty. Slowly, my desire to start a healthy diet waned. What’s the use when I already indulged in something bad?

One Simple Choice Can Make A Difference

That experience taught me a lot about our efforts to repent of transgressions. Repentance is not an easy process. It requires that you give up habits that cause you to sin. One important process of repentance is forsaking the sin. When we repent of something, we must do all we can not to commit the same sin again.

However, in our journey towards repentance, we can sometimes include cans of Pringles into our bags. These cans of Pringles can come in the form of a hidden magazine, a bookmarked site on the internet, or activities that may look harmless. Like me, you can also say “This one bad thing won’t hurt.” However, most of the time, they do.

When we do the same mistakes again, our resolve to totally repent wanes, too. Once we are consumed with guilt, we often wonder if it is worth another try. Completely forsaking the sin is an integral part of repentance. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said:

“Forsaking sins is more than resolving not to repeat them. Forsaking involves a fundamental change in the individual.”

A Lesson On Repentance, A Lesson Of Hope

However, the Lord knows that sometimes, we can really fall back to the very sin that we repented from. Despite that, He is still going to accept us as long as we do our part to repent once more. Elder Spencer W. Kimball said:

“Sometimes … when a repentant one looks back and sees the ugliness, the loathsomeness of the transgression, he is almost overwhelmed and wonders, ‘Can the Lord ever forgive me? Can I ever forgive myself?’ But when one reaches the depths of despondency and feels the hopelessness of his position, and when he cries out to God for mercy in helplessness but in faith, there comes a still, small, but penetrating voice whispering to his soul, ‘Thy sins are forgiven thee.’” (The Miracle of Forgiveness, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969, p. 344.)

My dear friends, I hope you are not as foolish as I am. In our resolve to change, may we look beyond the potato chip aisle and never look back. With the help of the Savior and the strength given by His atonement, we can slowly but surely ignore the cans of Pringles in our life. May we always find the courage to choose the better part every day.  

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Rica’s Concern

Rica said, “…I am an early-released missionary because of a mental disorder. I want to ask how I can be strong in times that I don’t want to fight anymore and feel like giving up.”

Moreover, she expressed, “I would ask why things have been falling apart even if I kept the faith. Why is it hard and it seemed like there’s no end? Am I still loved or am I already forgotten?”

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland gave a talk once in General Conference for those of us who feel this way. His message, “Like a Broken Vessel” (October 2013), provides a comforting message of hope to those who are struggling with mental and emotional health issues.

Trust in God – Hold on in His love

In one of his Facebook posts, Elder Holland said, “Hang on and hope. Never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. Never, ever doubt His love for you. Hold fast to the Atonement. Believe in miracles. When you’ve done all you can do, endure to the end. And remember, hope is never lost.”

https://www.facebook.com/lds.jeffrey.r.holland/videos/913062948802516/

In the conclusion of his talk, Elder Holland expressed his love with this message:

“Whatever your struggle, my brothers and sisters—mental or emotional or physical or otherwise—do not vote against the preciousness of life by ending it! Trust in God. Hold on in His love. Know that one day the dawn will break brightly and all shadows of mortality will flee. Though we may feel we are “like a broken vessel,” as the Psalmist says, we must remember, that vessel is in the hands of the divine potter. Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed.” Also, Elder Holland said, “While God is at work making those repairs, the rest of us can help by being merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind.”

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Stefanie is a young woman of incredible humor. She loves to laugh, she enjoys making other people happy. In fact, in her yearbook, her classmates dubbed her as the beautiful class clown. When you’re with Stef, there is no dull moment. The happy view she has of life is contagious.

However, Stef wasn’t that bubbly girl anymore when she sat down with me one day. With tears in her eyes, she confided in me that she had broken a commandment she had known since she was a child. With a voice of resignation, Stef said: “I feel like it’s too late for me to come back to the Lord. To be honest, it seems like my chance to change has been used up. I don’t think any repentance can bring back my confidence.”  

You can imagine how heartbreaking it was for me to see one of the young women I love and admire sink into hopelessness and desperation. With an aching heart that reached out to her, I lovingly told her that her chance to change isn’t used up yet, none of ours are. For every Stefanie out there, for everyone who feels that they’re too late, and that all hope is lost for them—it isn’t.

When God the Father presented the Plan of Salvation, all His children were there. You and I were there. He explained “all about earth and eternal salvation for man.” Since the Father knew that earth life wouldn’t be easy or free from trials and temptations, He sent a Savior in the personage of Jesus Christ. Father knew exactly that although we would know right from wrong, we would still make unwise decisions.

In this world we are subject to Satan’s temptations, and give in at times. But not only are we susceptible to his cunning enticements, we are also a target for his lies. And one of the greatest lies he could ever whisper to our minds is this:  that we can no longer repent and come back to the presence of the Father.

Like Stefanie, when one commits a serious sin, the first question that they often feel to ask is, “How can I possibly get out of this predicament?” This question is followed by desperate inquiries as to whether there is still a chance to change, if there is a way to combat the shame, or if they could ever be forgiven. Satan grabs the opportunity to whisper lies like “It’s too late for you to change” or “You are already so deep in sin, what makes you think that you can be forgiven?” Undoubtedly, these are some of the worst lies you can listen to. Those who succumb to these deceptions often lose hope of changing, or repentance and continue in sin.

But the Lord’s encouragement is the complete opposite of Satan’s lies; He invites us to come back to His presence so He can heal us. One example of this is when Christ visited the Nephites. Before His coming, wickedness was rampant among the Nephites. Murder, corruption, and pride were all over. When Christ came, He asks them:

“…will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you?” (3 Nephi 9:13)

Contrary to Satan’s lies, it is the Savior’s desire for us to change and come back to Him. This was lovingly illustrated in the parable of the prodigal son taught by the Savior Himself. Despite the son’s transgressions (and they were heavy ones), the Father still welcomed his long-lost child with open arms and a heart full of happiness and love.

When our hearts are full of guilt, we are especially vulnerable to Satan’s deceptions. After disappointing the Lord, it is difficult to kneel down once again and ask for forgiveness. The guilt, the regret, and the fear that we have already sinned too much can weigh us down. However, this beautiful quote from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland that inspiration to doubtful souls:

“…however late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s atonement shines.”

What a beautiful message especially for those who feel they’re too late. To Stefanie and to others who feel that it’s no longer worth it, listen more to the voice of the Savior inviting you to come back to Him. There is nothing else that He wants for you than to see you freed from the burden of guilt and regret. He wants you to change and heal. Listen to His voice.

This new year, may we all find the courage, the faith, and the testimony of the Atonement to help us come back to the Lord’s open arms. There will always be a chance to change waiting for us. I know the Lord loves us and He wants us back. Let us trust that love more than Satan’s lies.

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Salvation from Physical Death

One of the blessings of the Atonement is salvation from physical death. We will all be resurrected, which means that our bodies and spirits will reunite again. This blessing is available to all, regardless of the choices we make in this life. In this perspective, we are all saved.

Salvation from Sin

Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can be cleansed from sin when we exercise faith on the power of the Atonement, be baptized, receive the gift of the Holy Ghost through proper priesthood authority, and repent. This salvation is conditional. Only when we follow Jesus Christ and repent of our sins can we be redeemed or saved from our sins.

Being Born again

We are taught in the scriptures that we “must be born again” to inherit the kingdom of God. And being born again means that we must “be born of water and of the Spirit.” This spiritual rebirth occurs as we enter the waters of baptism and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost (also referred to as baptism by fire). Spiritual rebirth does not only happen once. The covenants we make during baptism can be renewed when we partake of the Sacrament every Sunday.

Salvation from Ignorance

There are people who don’t know the gospel of Jesus Christ because it is not available to them. These people live their lives not knowing the light that the gospel brings. The people who have knowledge of the fullness of the gospel are saved from this ignorance.

Salvation from the Second Death

Second death means the spiritual death or being cut off from the presence of Heavenly Father forever. The Atonement of Jesus Christ saves us from this death. But there are those who will not be redeemed from this death. These people are the “sons of perdition who deny the Son after the Father has revealed him.”

Eternal Life or Exaltation. In this state, we will dwell with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ forever. We will inherit the highest degree of the Celestial kingdom. This salvation requires that “men receive the Melchizedek Priesthood, and that all Church members make and keep sacred covenants in the temple, including the covenant of eternal marriage.” This salvation is conditional.

Read more about Salvation here.

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My imperfection is undeniable and my knowledge is limited. I feel afraid whenever I face trials and challenges in life. And during my struggles I always tend to ask if what is next or what is coming? Because I do not know everything, or what to expect, I am always anxious about what I should do and what will happen to me. Most of the time we are too concerned with tomorrow and we question why God is allowing these bad things to happen.

Somehow I’ve been through a lot of difficulties in life already, but there was one instance that helped me to better understand the purposes of heaven. After giving birth to my second child I thought all was well. But after a few days the doctor told us that my son’s blood and my blood were incompatible and it could cause either retardation for my son or we would lose him if it was not corrected. My son was just a week old, and as a mother it was too painful for me to see my son suffering. Every time I looked at him all I could see was innocence above anything else in this world.  I was troubled and even terrified to lose my son. I always carried a prayer in my heart to give my son the strength he needed to survive. I remember begging the Lord for my son’s life, even though I felt unworthy to ask Him. Days passed by and my son was able to survive and did not have any complications. Later, when contemplating what had happened, I came to realized that even in the midst of our trials the Lord will always give us comfort that everything will be alright through His plan. This experience helped me recognize even more the great love of the Lord for us, and especially for me. I believe what President George Cannon said, that, “No matter how serious the trial, how deep the distress, how great the affliction, God will never desert us. He never has, and He never will. He cannot do it. It is not His character to do so. He will always stand by us.”

I recall a talk from our stake president. He reminded us of two things to remember so that we will remain steadfast in the great storms of life. First, we must accept that we do not know everything, and second, we must know that the Lord loves us. Because our knowledge isn’t perfect it will lead us to rely more on the Lord and have faith in Jesus Christ. It will help us embrace and appreciate the atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

After so many things that my husband and I experienced in raising our own family, I now strongly believe that if we will study and know for ourselves that God loves us, it would make us more positive, and we will be able to face what is ahead of us no matter what it is, with the knowledge that He will never forsake us. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, “The first great truth of all eternity is that God loves us with all of His heart, might, mind and strength. That love is the foundation stone of eternity, and it should be the foundation stone of our daily life.” He inspires us to keep loving. Keep trying. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Keep growing. Remember that heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow and forever, and that the Lord will stand beside you, ever ready to do wonders in your behalf.

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Elder David A. Bednar said, “Strong faith in the Savior is submissively accepting of His will and timing in our lives—even if the outcome is not what we hoped for or wanted”.

It’s been 15 years now since my dad got paralyzed. During the first year of his paralysis you could tell his frustrations and sadness, especially when we had financial crisis. It was hard for him to see my mom carrying the burden. Because I was very young I didn’t fully understand why the Lord allowed these things to happen in our family. As far as I knew, my dad’s desire was to be a responsible father, a good husband and an obedient servant of the Lord.

When I was in college, I was diagnosed with a similar illness. Since that time, my life plans became uncertain. I was not able to maintain my grades and later, lost the opportunity to enjoy my scholarship. I got released from my calling as a teacher in primary. I lost the one I loved as well because of my situation. I felt like I was losing everything that I had and I didn’t understand why. One night I asked my mom how she learned to accept everything that had happened. I remember what she said, “Sometimes it is hard to go through trials and face the truth that your father will never be the same again in this life. But if you try to open your eyes, you will still see great things. You just need to trust the Lord that He knows what’s best for you. I believe that all these things are for our own good and it will just be for a moment. So please be strong. I know our Heavenly Father is preparing something great for you”.

Those words touched my heart and soul and helped me believe and trust the Lord even more. During my recovery from my illness, it’s been wonderful to see my dad happy even though he’s still sitting in that chair. He has been teaching seminary for 12 years now. He’s dedicated his second chance to helping us serve missions and his other students.

I believe that our faith in Jesus Christ’s Atonement and a complete submission to the will of the Lord will set us free, and will give us greater comfort and peace. It gives us the power to live, no matter how difficult life may be. Then, we will see miracles no matter how small or big they are. The Lord knows better and His love for us is infinite.

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August 29. 2014. I still remember the date. I was 10 weeks pregnant and the excitement that filled my husband and I was indescribable. For the first time, we were going to see and hear the first signs that we were indeed having a baby. But as the doctor conducted the procedure, she gave indications that it was not good news. That’s when we knew that something was wrong.

The words that followed were a blur to me. The babies had not developed well. They were twins, but my body had stopped their development, and I was expected to have a miscarriage. For someone who had always dreamt of becoming a mother, it was a lot to digest, let alone accept. We went home and I cried my heart out to my husband not wanting anyone else to know but he and I. I was far too emotional to hear any advice. I did not want any of that.

Sometimes, we feel that the only way to comfort someone dealing with loss is to give words of advice. I thought words were the best option, too, until I had to experience a painful event. That was when I found 5 other ways to truly help someone who is going through heartbreak.

1.) Listen with Empathy

The same day that I wanted to lock myself in, and stay in bed was the day I realized we had an angel for a neighbor. Out of nowhere, a sister from the ward came to me and asked “How was your check up?” I wasn’t able to explain everything to her because of my tears, but she lovingly welcomed me into her home and let me cry my heart out. That moment I realized that in times of grief, you don’t need a lot of words, you just need someone who will truly listen to you with a desire to understand what you feel instead of telling you how you should feel. During that time, that sister’s hug, listening ear, encouraging smiles, and expressions of love and hope was enough to ease the hurt I was feeling.

The first step to understanding someone’s heart is to first listen, really listen. Let that person know they have a friend whose heart is with them, too. That gesture goes a long way.

2.) Speak when Necessary

The reason why listening is the first step to comforting someone is because when you listen, you understand their situation better, allowing you to know the words that you should speak to bring comfort. The sister who came to me did not speak a lot but her thoughts brought peace to me. A statement like “I may not know how you feel, but I know it’s hard. Please know I am here” can mean a lot.

Also, ask good questions. Good questions, or open-ended inquiry, can help you understand your friend better and can help them know that you are there for them. Improveyoursocialskills.com emphasizes the importance of good questions:

“When you invite your partner to share in this way, something powerful happens. Not only does inviting your partner to share help the conversation to flow, but it also gives you an opportunity to show your partner that you are interested in them.”

Letting someone know that you are there for them and are willing to help them get through is a great balm.

3.) Extend Help

No matter how difficult life is sometimes, people with sorrows to deal with can’t always express their need for help. Most often, people who deal with loss find it hard to do even small tasks. A great way to comfort a grieving friend is to extend help. Even the smallest actions such as cleaning their lawn, walking their dog, cooking a meal for them, babysitting their kids, or dropping by to talk can be a source of comfort. Who knows, by simply doing these things, you may have already become an answer to your friend’s prayer.

4.) Respect their Privacy.

It may be hard to believe for some, but when someone says “I just want to be alone,” they probably truly mean it. From my experience, I learned that alone time was necessary. I was able to work through my grief, and eventually, find peace of mind. If your friend wants to be alone, you can still offer gestures that they will appreciate like praying for them, or sending a thoughtful note. Although they may prefer to spend some time alone, they will eventually need company. How great it is for them to know someone is there when they’re ready to face the world again!

I know every one of us has to experience grief for great reasons. My gratitude for friends who listened, quietly served, and extended love to my husband and I is indescribable. They are indeed walking angels here on earth. My heartfelt prayers to the Lord were answered through them.

President Spencer W. Kimball once said,

“God does notice us, and He watches over us. But it is usually through another person that He meets our needs.” (Small Acts of Service, Ensign, 1974)

Yes, trying times will come to people around us and there will be moments when you feel like saying “I do not know how to ease their pain!” Of course, we do not all have the power to do that. But, there are ways we can comfort someone suffering from loss. And if we’re motivated by love and concern, we can extend peace, we can be their walking angels here on earth.

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