“Mom, don’t you have any dreams at all?”

Her simple answer left me pondering about life’s real purpose. She said, referring to my siblings and me:

“I gave up on my dream in exchange for fulfilling three people’s dreams.”

I will never forget that. As a strong and independent woman (or so I thought), I was ready to tell my mother how much she missed out in life by failing to have a career. However, I realized that I was wrong all along. I had a narrow perspective. My mother never lost anything, but she gained a lot by enriching other people’s lives through her sacrifice and service. This conversation led me to a famous scriptural paradox about finding through losing.

The Paradox of Finding through Losing

Jesus said, “He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it” (Matthew 10:39).  I remember reading this verse and being confused, “What was that suppose to even mean? How can I lose myself then find it? The two are contradicting concepts. Fortunately, the late President Thomas S. Monson gave a clear explanation regarding this matter:

“I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish—and in effect save their lives.” 1

Now that I think about it, the model life I want to follow – that of Jesus Christ – is a life full of service. For thirty odd years, [He] went about doing good” (Acts10:38).  Jesus Christ suffered, bled, and died for others’ sake – for ours. In doing so, He gained eternal life and was able to extend the same opportunity for us all. I would not call Jesus Christ’s life as a life in vain! He lived the most purposeful life on Earth because He offered His whole life to others. Just like my mother. This is the blessing of service.

So, if you ever want to find your life or to have a purpose, lose yourselves in the service to others. You don’t know how? Well, here are a few suggestions:

Ways to Lose Yourselves in Service to Others

Listen

I think to listen as a service is not very well thought of. Based on my own experience, sometimes, what people just want is for someone to truly listen to them. And when I say listen, it means being all ears for that person. It means not thinking about what to say next while someone is talking, not interrupting them in the middle of a sentence, or misinterpreting their words. To listen is to truly understand another.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, “Perhaps even more important than speaking is listening. … If we listen with love, we won’t need to wonder what to say. It will be given to us—by the Spirit.”

Spend Quality Time

One of my favorite quotes from General Conference addresses is from Elder Uchtdorf. He said that “love is really spelled time.” 3 I want to modify this quote a bit and add quality before time:

Love is really spelled quality time.

It is possible for us to spend time with our family, friends, and fellow men without really giving them our time at all. I have seen a lot of family dinner out with young teens glued to their mobile phone the whole night or a catch-up with friends where none of them is talking because they are busy updating their social media statuses. When we say spend time with another, we should really give them our full attention. I think it beats the purpose of spending time together when you are distracted the whole time.

Send Messages and Give a Call

There are times when we cannot render our services to others “in person” because of geographical boundaries and other constraints. With modern technology though, we can still serve others even from miles away. Now, serving can be done with just a few mouse clicks. When feel prompted by the Spirit, send someone a personal message on Facebook or call someone to ask about their day. Such simple gestures can go a long way.

With the recent instructions from the prophet regarding ministering, there are more ways you can do to serve others. Kneel and ask God to help you find opportunities to serve then get on your feet and go to work.

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“No one has learned the meaning of living until he has surrendered his ego to the service of his fellow man. Service to others is akin to duty, the fulfillment of which brings true joy.” – President Thomas S. Monson

In numerous conference talks, we are constantly reminded about how we can find lasting happiness through service. Indeed, it is true. When we serve, a warm feeling envelops us; it’s an unexplainable happy feeling that can only be attained by losing ourselves in service. By lending another a hand, the giver, as well, receives blessings in their life. But from the perspective of the receiver, what’s the impact of an act of service?

Ever since I was a little child, I have been blessed because someone chose to serve. Even now, it helps me to know that Heavenly Father is mindful of me when someone unexpectedly gives service. Reflecting upon my life, I have realized the blessings I enjoy because someone else decided to serve.

I was blessed because someone decided to knock on my grandparents’ door.

When missionary work was practically new in the area where my father’s family lived, and everyone there was a true-blue Catholic, two missionaries knocked on my grandparents’ door. They were not baptized at that time but their visits planted seeds in the heart of my father.

I was blessed because someone shared the gospel with my father.

When my father was in college, he developed a strong friendship with his Latter-day Saint classmate. This friend’s disposition was different from the rest; it was something that always made my father curious. This friend later shared the gospel with him. My father received the answers to his life’s questions. Because of this friend’s example and his willingness to share the gospel, my father became a member of the Church.

I was blessed because my father served a mission

Despite my grandparents’ initial disapproval, my father decided to serve a mission. It was one of the best decisions he ever made, not only for him or for us, but also for generations to come. His two-year service strengthened his faith and testimony, something that we always looked up to.

I was blessed because my parents decided to sacrifice and marry in the temple

Our life has been blessed because two young single adults decided to get married in the temple, no matter how far it was or how scarce their resources were. My parents’ decision to get married for time and all eternity proved to us that indeed “sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven.” It is always a great comfort to know that we are sealed as a family, and that we will be together for time and all eternity.

I was blessed because my parents-in-law were dedicated and raised my husband well.

Now that I am married, every time I look at my husband and see his dedication to his role as a husband and father, I can’t help but feel extremely grateful for my parents-in-law for raising such a fine young man. My husband belongs to a large family of nine children. The challenges of raising a family as big as that are never easy, but I am blessed because they took the time to teach and raise him well.

I was blessed because my husband served a mission.

Our little family is also blessed because of my husband’s decision to serve a mission. His two-year experience continually fuels his desire to serve in his calling, and to give help to those around him. In my Patriarchal blessing, I have been promised that the power of the Priesthood will be my refuge in times of greatest need. I am grateful to see the fulfillment of that promise in him.

I was blessed because of random acts of service around me.

When I became a mother, I realized how important the little acts of service we give to others are. There have been moments of exhaustion that led me to kneel down and ask for help from the Father. Indeed, the assurance that “heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones” is true. Every now and then, a kind person has offered to help watch Eli so I could do my other chores. Without me saying anything, an inspired person would know the right things to say. Carrying the challenging role of new motherhood has become bearable; I am blessed by the random acts of service from people around me.

I am continually blessed because of Christ’s atonement.

Last but not the least, I am continually and eternally blessed because Christ has suffered and died for me. Because of Christ’s atonement, my family and I know where to turn to in times of greatest trial. Because of Christ’s atonement, we enjoy the blessing of knowing the purpose of family and life. Because of Christ’s atonement, there is no end. I am forever grateful for Jesus Christ’s atoning sacrifice for me.
It is true that we can’t always see the results of our simple acts of service. We can’t always see the effect it has on the lives of the people we serve. Even though we don’t always see the big picture, let us continue to serve, let us be more sensitive to spiritual promptings; let us offer help, no matter how small it is. May we follow the Savior’s example of continuous service because we may not know how the help we give now may change a person’s life.

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In the First Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the Corinthians in the 13th chapter, he discussed charity as an attribute that surpasses all else:

 4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Apostle Paul further explained that if we have no charity, we are nothing. This selfless, eternal love can be obtained only through Christ—who is the master of charity. This can be obtained by recognizing His love in our lives, seeking to have this love to fill our hearts and sharing this divine gift by being charitable to our fellowmen. This recognizing, seeking and sharing is an eternal pursuit because charity is an act of love. It needs to be felt, sought for, exercised and shared ever with a humble and grateful heart.

In the 7^th chapter of Moroni of the Book Mormon, Prophet Mormon taught, “Charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.” He counseled us to “pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that [we] may be filled with this love, which He hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son Jesus Christ; that [we] may become the sons of God; that when He shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as He is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as He is pure.” We are counseled that having this attribute will draw us closer to our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Possessing this attribute helps us live our lives according to the perfect example that Jesus Christ set when He walked upon this earth. Exercising this attribute points us towards eternal life.

As Jesus never fails so is charity. When we exercise charity in our lives, we will be kinder, more joyful, more selfless, and more forgiving. Charity encompasses all kinds of love that we can give to our fellowmen, even the love we give to our enemies and people who have wronged us. It is the ultimate kind of love that never fails to give light to our souls when our day becomes bleak and grey. It is the love that sustains us when we are faced with the various tests of mortality. It becomes a spring of hope for our righteous desire to do good to our fellowmen. It is an act of love that never failed, nor ever will.

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