Times Were Tough

At that time, my father had just graduated from college and my mother was working as a teacher. With 2 kids and one on the way, my father could hardly make ends meet with his salary as a casual government employee. I can vividly remember my parents eating salted fish so they could buy milk for me and my little brother. I can imagine how much they must have sacrificed just so we could be provided with the basic things we needed. As a father, it must have been hard for him to see his family have so little. I am sure that all he wanted was to provide a good life for us.

My Father’s Desire to Have His Family Forever

My father wanted a good life for us, but, more importantly, he held dear the promise of the Lord that his family could be with him for time and for all eternity. When he found out that a temple was going to be built in Manila, he made all the preparations needed to be able to bring his family there. It would also be his first time to be in the temple because the temple had been so far away during his Missionary Training that he had not been able to go and get his personal endowment. During his mission, he used to imagine what it would be like to go to the temple, so it was an exciting time for him preparing to go to the temple with us, but it was daunting as well. After evaluating his and my mother’s income, they discovered that there would not be enough to pay for both our fare and our board and lodging.

His Decision to Sell His Little Possessions

At that time, my father only owned a few things that he had bought previously. He had a little TV for our entertainment and he owned a watch that he’d had for years. He also had a scientific calculator from his years studying to be an electrical engineer. These were the only things of value that he possessed. We had no land and no house. He just rented a small room to house his small family. The TV and the watch were sold first but the scientific calculator was a hard thing for him to give up because it would be very useful in his future career. But, judging from the sale of the TV and watch, the scientific calculator had to go to raise the funds needed for travel to Manila.

Then Miracles Happened

When finally my father was able to buy tickets for the four of us, he could only afford the lowest form of accommodation. It was not comfortable. My mother was pregnant with their 3rd child and morning sickness plagued her. The journey to Manila took 3 days and after the first day of travel, my mother was already weak with morning sickness and seasickness. But then, as my father was out getting food for us, he met a missionary couple who offered us better accommodation. They sponsored an upgrade for us, and soon my mother felt a lot better. My father considered it to be a miracle because if she had continued to get weaker, he was afraid they would not have been able to continue the journey. When we were sealed, my mother felt the little baby in her womb kick as if to say, “Hurray!” The journey home was smooth sailing, without any discomfort and my father was empowered with a feeling of assurance that he had done the right thing in his efforts to provide for, protect and preside over his family.

We have now been sealed as a family for 35 years and it has blessed my parents’ lives and our lives as well. What my father sacrificed so we could be sealed was a strong testimony of his love for my mother and for his love for us. He taught us the difference between things that are of temporary value and things that have eternal significance. He was able to buy another TV and another watch and another scientific calculator but he said, “if I lose my family forever, that would be a great loss – something I can never replace.”

The post My Father Showed He Loves Us by Selling Our TV, His Watch and His Scientific Calculator appeared first on morefaith.ph.

This is the time of year in the Philippines when graduation and recognition rites are usually held. But this year, there are no graduation marches, no students wearing togas, no proud parents presenting medals to children who did well this school year. The Co-VID-19 pandemic has put a stop to all big gatherings and that includes graduation and recognition exercises. Even the school year was cut short as enhanced community quarantine has been strictly implemented for public safety. A number of questions are raised by students throughout the nation. One of them is, “Will we still be able to continue with our education?”

With the current global situation, formal education in a school setting is hard to accomplish if not impossible. Yet in the context of continuous education, there are a lot of ways we can “increase in wisdom.”

Learn From Your Own Quarantine Experience

It is quite amusing that in these trying times, there are a lot of things we discover about ourselves and our capacities. People all over the world are now facing an unseen enemy and because of this, their sense of curiosity is elevated. Questions keep popping into people’s minds, questions such as:

“What is this virus?”

“How does it spread from one person to another?”

“How do I stay away from this virus?”

“Why do we need to be quarantined?”

These are the things that people are asking. In addition to these questions are the musings that people have about other aspects of life.

“Am I prepared for what is to come because of this pandemic?”

“How can my family cope with all the changes that are happening?”

“What are the things that I need to do to rise from this bleak situation?”

“Will life get back to normal again? When?”

What is beautiful about questions is the fact that they awaken the faculties of the mind as we search for answers to them. This global pandemic, like the virus itself, is novel. It has never happened before. Not in this kind of situation. Although there have been a lot of disease outbreaks in the past, this one is unprecedented. Being in such a situation makes us all newbies when it comes to experiences that come with it. Isn’t it a good exploratory opportunity? Through this experience, we can learn to stretch our budget like we have never done before. Families can create stronger bonds as they are concerned of each others’ welfare. The human mind has rarely awoken to such creativity when it comes to health and survival.

Our family for one has explored how we can increase our immune system and better our family preparedness. Education is continuing as we come together in family council and talk about what we can do to improve our health and stretch our means to provide for this time of crisis. And what is amazing is that there are a lot of creative things that we learn from our children. For example, one of our daughters took charge of sounding an alarm every hour so we can all drink a glass of water to keep us hydrated throughout the day. It is beautiful how the learning experience can feel so new and refreshing as we face this trial of our day.

The Beauty of Home Schooling

There are a lot of ways to accomplish “formal” continuous education in the home setting. My children began home schooling when the Department of Education decided to cancel all classes. We are using the Khan Academy program available online for their academic and enhancement activities. But that is not the only avenue that we use to continually educate them.

Being at home all day long has been a blessing. Yes, at first it was chaos having all five of our children “breathing each others’ air.” But it challenged us to make a schedule that works for everyone. We saw it as an opportunity to school them in polishing their household skills. Tasks were added so they could learn more housekeeping: cooking, babysitting, gardening, sewing, cleaning – the list just goes on. It keeps them busy doing worthwhile activities and it keeps their parents’ sanity. It did not happen overnight. We have tried a couple of schedules that did not work until we finally came to one that kind of works but still needs polishing.

Let’s face it! We are not sure when this will be over. Even world leaders cannot give a specific timeline as to when things will get back to normal. Given this, let us grab it as a chance to sharpen the saw or be better at what we do. One way to do this is to avail ourselves of degrees and courses offered online. The Pathway program is definitely a great source for this. One can also take the time to research or review about your current profession and skills. I have not expanded my culinary skills for quite a while now. But because there is a need to make home cooked meals for the whole family everyday, I have tapped into the wide array of cooking knowledge on “Youtube academy.” There are a lot of webinars available to help us increase our efficiency and effectiveness. Training is made possible through technology and the internet. My husband continues to meet with his professors and classmates through Zoom. Continuous education in this trying time can be exciting and very rewarding.

Revisit Your Resolve to #HearHim

I strongly feel that the train of events that happened before the Co-VID-19 pandemic until now is a wake up call to #HearHim. In the recent General Conference, President Russell M. Nelson said,

“Family preparedness especially includes filling our personal spiritual store houses with faith, truth, and testimony.”

Continuous education must happen, most importantly, in our quest for eternal truths. The scriptures has never rung truer before, especially in the comfort and strength they provide. The “Come Follow Me Program” is such a powerful tool to anchor us when in despair. Prayers have become more sincere as we reach out to heaven for healing and peace. And because we are admonished to “stand in holy places and be not moved,” we have tried harder to make our homes holier, our language better and our service more sincere. Being able to experience this global pandemic gives us the opportunity to slow down so we can truly #HearHim.

President Nelson promised that as we strive to prepare ourselves to #HearHim, we will hear messages that will “bring peace to (y)our soul… heal (y)our broken heart(s)… illuminate (y)our mind…” and “help (you)us know what to do as (you)we move ahead in times of turmoil and trial.”

The post What Continuous Education Means While in Community Quarantine appeared first on morefaith.ph.

“You look so drained. Stop having children already!”

People see parents around them looking so tired taking care of their children and that is true. Having children takes much of our time and energy but please don’t tell us to stop having children especially if you do not know the whole picture. “Children are an heritage of the Lord…” (Psalm 127:3) The decision to have children is made by husband and wife and the Lord. However sincere our intentions are, we may make parents feel limited and guilty. When people tell us to stop having children, it makes us feel like it’s our children’s fault that we feel and look exhausted. It is so unfair for the little ones. It feels so unfair to us. We want to have children and we are paying the price to have them in our lives. I am sure parents who spend most of their time taking care of their children are happy. They may look tired but that doesn’t mean they do not feel rewarded for their efforts. A word of appreciation can go a long way if we want to help parents who seem to be spread thin. We can compliment their efforts and if they need us to, let us lend a helping hand.

“Stop feeling that way. It’s a matter of choice.”

Thank you for reminding us of our agency but please allow us to be human. We have all the right to feel angry, exhausted, silent, disappointed, elated – and these feelings need to be validated. It is already hard, and enough pressure is put on our shoulders, without thinking that we shouldn’t feel this way. Sister Reyna I. Aburto said, “My dear friends, it can happen to any of us — especially when, as believers in the plan of happiness, we place unnecessary burdens on ourselves by thinking we need to be perfect now. Such thoughts can be overwhelming. Achieving perfection is a process that will take place throughout our mortal life and beyond — and only through the grace of Jesus Christ.”

All of us are fighting battles, whether we can see them or not. Kind words of encouragement are very helpful. However, let us be more sensitive and remember that sometimes a listening ear weighs more than unsolicited advice. We can talk to them and validate their feelings of exhaustion or fear or anger. A simple word of appreciation for the good they do as parents will definitely brighten their day.

“Don’t worry! Everything will be okay.”

We are already worried and everything will not be okay – at least not right away. Things will sometimes – if not most of the time – go wrong. The plans we make will not always come to pass. Things will at times go bad and sometimes bad things will take a turn for the worse. That is part of our mortal journey.  If we worry, that is normal. Please don’t get us wrong. We want things to be okay all the time. Who wouldn’t? But if someone tells us, “Let’s grow through it!” that would make us feel a lot better. Let’s realize that every reason for worry is an avenue for lessons to be learned. We can work hand in hand as parents by asking each other how we can parent better. We may have different circumstances but we have one thing in common – we want to be the best parents for our children. So let’s use that common ground to plant the seed of empathy and compassion and reap the blessings of team work.

There are a lot of reasons why parenthood can be such a Herculean task. That is more so because of the different roles parents need to fill, especially in troubled times. Communication is a vital tool in all relationships. Through proper and sincere communication, walls between people are broken and relationships are strengthened. There are times when, however sincere our intentions are, we sometimes fail to put into the right words what we want to communicate. One thing we can do is to listen. Taking time to listen and to understand someone is an act of charity and when we do listen, we may better console and serve each other.

The post Things You Should Not Say to Troubled Parents appeared first on morefaith.ph.

The Challenges

My husband prepared the bread and water the night before. He placed two slices of bread on a plate and readied the mugs (yes mugs!) for the water. He covered them so it will be ready early in the morning. When he woke up one of our daughters have spread hazelnut on the bread and made a sandwich out of it. It turned out that we did not have extra bread since the kids ate the rest of the loaf. So we made do with “yummy” bread because we used the sandwich which was the only bread we had in the house. The mugs were replaced by glasses since my husband didn’t know where they are stored, so he used what he could easily see in the kitchen and those were mugs.

Another issue we needed to address was how to help the kids feel more reverent, and not as at home. It was quite a challenge because they didn’t feel it was as solemn when we were just sitting on our couch holding Sacrament Meeting.

The Sacrament

It was a bit strange watching as my husband make all the preparations being the only Priesthood holder in the home. We have 5 daughters and none of us could help in the preparation. It was an eye opener for us because we usually look past the preparation part of the Sacrament. We just see the sacrament table all set when we sit in the pews during sacrament meeting. It was such a humbling experience being able to see how gently my husband selected white sheets to line and cover the sacrament emblems. We were filled with reverence as we saw how the seemingly mundane task of breaking bread became holy and sacred. Seeing it so close opened our eyes to the sanctity of the things we usually see as routine.

The Closing Hymn

For our closing hymn, we sang “Keep the Commandments.” It was a hymn my daughter selected because it is one of the few hymns she can play on the piano. I tried my hardest to hold back tears as my heart swelled with a testimony of the truth that the hymn teaches. When the COVID-19 pandemic first began to spread fear in the hearts of people worldwide, our daughters were also alarmed as information on the phenomenon reach them. We have tried our best to comfort them and keep them in their bubble of normalcy. But we cannot seem to do that because these kids are so informed. When we sang,

“Keep the commandments; keep the commandments!

In this there is safety; in this there is peace.

He will send blessings;

He will send blessings.

Words of a prophet:

Keep the commandments.

In this there is safety and peace.”

It was like the Holy Ghost enveloped me with the assurance that my children will be fine. The world will not always be an ideal place for them, but they will be taught the ideal principles that will mold them to be resilient and constant. My husband and I expressed our gratitude for the blessing of having a living prophet, and our children understood that if we listen to the words of the prophet, there is always safety and peace.

The Reminder

When we asked the girls what they thought of the special Sacrament Meeting we had, my daughter said, “I gained confidence because even when I make mistakes in playing the piano, it’s ok because I’m with my family.” Our sense of family was strengthened by this beautiful experience. And our hearts were one with people all over the world who worshiped with us that morning as we prayed for the healing of our nations. There was a spirit of being one big congregation under one God despite holding Sacrament services at home in family units or even as individuals. As I searched the hymn “Keep the Commandments,” on lds.org I was humbled by what a seemingly hidden second verse revealed:

“We are His children; we are His children,

and we must be tested to show we are true.

Hold to His promises;

Hold to His promises,

Heeding the prophets:

Keep the commandments.

In this there is safety and peace.”

In these trying times when we can’t do all the usual day-to-day things because we can’t go out, we can find safety and peace in the four corners of our homes. When we have our faith and our family with us, there is a sense of security that comforts and strengthens. Once again, we are reminded of what matters most.

The post How Sacrament Meeting Made Us Feel Truly At Home appeared first on morefaith.ph.

Strength as a Family

I grew up watching my parents grieve. I heard their “could-have-beens” – how if they had been better parents or if they could have done things better, then they would not have lost their little boy. It pained me seeing them go through that, but those times became opportunities for me to comfort them. My siblings and I try our hardest to reassure them that they are good parents. We try to make every moment as a family a happy one. We used to talk about our loss as bleak and sad but as the years rolled along, we have learned to remember the joy we felt at having been given the chance to be the family of that very special child. We have recommitted ourselves time and time again to be good people and to work as a family so we can be worthy to be with him someday.

A Better Knowledge of the Afterlife

Losing my little brother made me ponder more often about death and what happens after. I have even read a lot of literature about the afterlife. However, the most comforting and reliable information does not come from scholastic studies. I have come to understand more about death from the sacred scriptures. Learning from the Word of God gave me comfort and staying power. I have learned that truly, death is not the end of life. It is but a door all of us needs to go through so we can go on to the next chapter of a much grander, continuing of life. My brother is not lost or forgotten. He is just in another state and is waiting for me and my whole family. We can all be together someday through the goodness and mercy of God. Knowing these truths fortified my resolve to go on with life purposefully. All the good that we do here on Earth will not be wasted then, because life goes on. It will go on even after all the pain and sorrow of mortality.

The Will to Improve Daily

With the knowledge that I can be with my brother again, I am inspired to do all I can to make his life with us worth remembering. There is something inside of me that tells me that I need to be worthy to be with him someday. He died innocent and pure. Because of that, I know I need to live a life that will merit being allowed to be where he is now. I do not have a manual that gives specific steps on how to do this, but in the every day decisions that I make, I know I make the steps that either bring me closer to him or take me farther away. I am grateful for commandments that serve as a guide to base our life choices on. Every time I am faced with situations where I have to choose between right or wrong, I remember my little brother and that he is waiting for me. Losing my little brother left an imprint in my being that helps me make better choices.

A loving Heavenly Father created the family structure. It is the best way to bring children into this world. This is something very special and very sacred. I know He would not allow death to destroy the sacred connections between family members. He wants us to live as families – secured and bonded – throughout life, and even after death. He made a way. He devised a plan for this to happen. Knowing this Plan has provided great comfort and hope after our loss. We feel our baby brother close to us and God has given us an assurance that we will see him again.

You, too, can know of His beautiful plan… Talk to us or visit lds.org to know more.

The post What I Gained After I Lost My Little Brother appeared first on morefaith.ph.

The clash between the desires of Jesus Christ and Lucifer when it comes to the welfare of humanity has never been more apparent than in today’s world. The pressure is felt most strongly within the family. As hard as we work to keep our family safe from the adversary’s attacks, it feels like Satan works twice as hard. He wants to win individual souls by plucking them from the protection of family relationships. He does this because he knows he can never win. The next best thing he can do is share his misery and woe with unfortunate souls that fall into his traps. The battleline has been drawn. How then do we stay on the winning side and have our family with us?

Willing Obedience to God

Trusting The One who understands everything from beginning to end, is the safest thing to do. It is comforting to know that He seeks the eternal joy of us all. The commandments that the Savior gives to us are, in actuality, instructions for safety and happiness. If we offer our will and submit it to our all-knowing and all-powerful Heavenly Father, He will be able to guide us every step of the way. By doing so, we need not risk going on unsafe roads. All we have to do is follow the path the Savior has marked for us. If husband and wife, parents and children, put complete trust in the plan that a loving Father in Heaven has designed for His children, we will all be able to stay within the bounds of safety.

Integrity in All That We Do

Another way to avoid being collateral damage in the adversary’s war, is to instill in our being the value of integrity. Integrity goes beyond its popular definition. It is popularly known as being honest in all that we do. But integrity is more than that. It delves into the “why” in all that we do. Motives make or break every act. No matter how good the act, if it is carried out because of selfish or evil desires, it is still not counted as righteousness. Our relationship as a family is strongly dependent upon what is inside our hearts. Parents often tell children, “We only want what is best for you.” But do we really base our opinions and advice upon what is best for our children? Or do we do so for personal gratification? It is in times like these that we need to check our motives, examine our inner desires and ask ourselves the “why” of everything that we do. Confidence will wax strong in each family member and each will learn to have faith in humanity, as well as caution where appropriate.

Protection From Within

We can build high walls or install state-of-the-art security systems for our homes to prevent outside physical dangers from intruding. We can even make our homes fire-proof, earthquake-safe or get all the insurance money can buy to prepare for a natural disaster. These preparations are good but they are not enough. If we want to protect our families from the dangers of the world, we start doing so from within. There are threats more dangerous than robbers or calamities. These threats are often subtle and sometimes seem harmless at first, but the effects can be devastating. Pornography, deceit, addiction, abuse and other menacing perils are accessible through the internet and through any other media that we expose ourselves to. If we want to protect our family from these dangers, we need to learn and teach correct principles (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/church/news/viewpoint-learn-and-live-correct-principles?lang=eng). By doing so, we equip ourselves and our children with the moral courage needed to combat such threats when they are confronted with them. Even if nobody is watching, we will be able to make correct choices and avoid pain and regret. We need to reinforce this kind of protection because we cannot be with our family all the time.

Yes, we can help and pray for our family members when they are facing difficult situations but if we fortify our families early on, we can save ourselves from a lot of tears and heartache later on. And if trying times come, and they surely will, we will know what to do and who to trust. We are on the frontline of the battle between good and evil as we fight to protect what is sacred and of great worth. We have the help of heaven as we do our best to partner with Heavenly Father to bring to pass His work and His glory.

The post 3 Nonphysical Ways to Fortify Our Homes appeared first on morefaith.ph.

Married life for me is not all about Instagram-worthy photos and likable statuses. There are a lot of things that are more valuable than grand weddings and luxury things. I have summed them up, these beautiful lessons that are now so dear to my heart.

Agency and Accountability

Every choice I make has a corresponding consequence. I need to make better choices because I am not the only one being affected by the results. I have a husband and I have children. My posterity depend on my daily decisions. We are tightly interconnected. What happens to me can also impact them.

Gratitude

When I am grateful I am happy. I learned, over the course of my marriage, to be content with what we have and to be patient with the Lord’s timetable. Gratitude gave me staying power to help me trust in the Lord. Marriage taught me to see the beauty in every situation, how every little thing – both good and bad – contributes to the canvas like strokes of a painting.

Education

Never stop learning. Marriage taught me to cook, bake, tend a garden, manage finances, and many more things. It gave me the drive to educate myself, especially when children came. My husband and I needed to upgrade our intellect. He learned a trade in law school and I continued learning employable skills. Our children have seen this over the years and they understand the value of education.

Family

My daughter once said, “I am surrounded by wonderful people everyday and they are called my family.” The essence of family is when someone feels good being with you. Marriage taught me to do my part so we can build a home where wonderful things can happen. It taught me to be more cheerful, more repentant, more forgiving, more positive, and to work harder… It taught me what it takes to be a family.

Friends

Friendship took on a different meaning when I got married. We can be friends with everyone but we need to choose those who influence us for the better. Marriage taught me to better choose my friends. There are those who we choose to let influence us, and there are those who we need to influence. I learned the difference between the two. And it is never a question whether to choose friends over family. Family always comes first.

Language

A Filipino adage teaches that we need to think seven times before we say something. Communication is vital in relationships. My marriage taught me when to speak and when to keep quiet. Most importantly, it taught me “how” to speak. We can learn to be articulate over the years, but civility must never fade. This is sometimes very challenging as we become more familiar with each family member but we’ll save ourselves a lot of grief if we learn to tame our tongue.

Honesty

This eternal principle has never been more vital than in a marriage relationship: in thoughts, in words, in finances, in plans… in everything. There were times when it was very easy to be honest. And there were times when we needed the Lord’s help to either show honesty to or accept honesty from our spouse. The bottom line is: I have learned to avoid secrets. More secrets often means more lies…

Tithes and Offerings

When I got married, it became more apparent why paying tithing, fasting and giving fast offerings are very important. I learned to see money with another perspective – the Lord’s perspective. If we wanted our family to be more self-reliant, we needed to be better stewards over what the Lord had given. Observing these principles taught me to budget well – both our money and my time. It made me appreciate our blessings more.

Service to Others

I’ve always had a desire to make a difference in the world. Yet what good is it to save the world when we can’t even serve those who are nearest to us? There is a reason why our spouse and our children are placed near us. The Lord taught me a great deal about service through marriage and family: to put them above and before myself. In family life, as a mother, it comes naturally. There has never been a better avenue for service than in family life.

Go Forward with Faith

The best things in life are worth fighting for. Marriage is now mocked by popular worldly beliefs. The family is under constant attack, and we need to fight back. I learned to kneel and ask for the Lord’s help, because I know I cannot do it alone. I know I need to walk by faith every single day and depend on the Lord. There is only so much I can do by myself and giving up is not an option.

Being married, I know I have grown in knowledge and character. Every day I am still learning and I don’t intend to stop. A wise Heavenly Father has designed marriage and family life so His spirit children can reach their full potential. It is, for me, a preparation for the eternities.

The post Precious Things My Marriage Taught Me appeared first on morefaith.ph.

To the unfaithful spouse who has broken the hearts of his family and friends, it is also a difficult time for you. Since all empathy may be directed to the betrayed, it is no surprise that you are left with the blame and harsh labels. You are broken as well. But as to all sinners, the Savior calls to you to come unto Him and know that He can make you whole again. But you need to pay the price.

You Have Offended God

When Alma counseled his son Corianton, he made it clear that adultery is “an abomination in the sight of the Lord… most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost…” (Alma 39:5) Like other sins, infidelity in marriage offends our Heavenly Father. The damage that is caused by this offense is far reaching and, in a way, meddles with the Plan of Salvation. This is so because it is an attack on the family which is the most important unit in Heavenly Father’s Plan. The bitter fruits of infidelity do not only affect the betrayed spouse, but all people that are connected to the couple. The family unit is threatened as well as the structure of a community, a nation, and mankind as a whole. The work and the glory of God is the welfare of mankind. To do something that would endanger that is truly an offense to Him. An offending spouse must realize this truth because, hopefully, this will lead him or her to repentance.

You can Be Forgiven

In the Plan of Salvation, the healing power of the Atonement encompasses all sins and all sorrows. We can always look to the Savior’s great sacrifice so we can be made whole again. The offending spouse can hope for forgiveness. But there is a process. He or she needs to go through the process of repentance. To be forgiven is not easy but it is possible. Take the first step of accepting that your acts have offended God and your fellow beings – your family and the people involved. Once in the path, hold on to the hope that everything will make sense eventually – the pain, the hardships, the sacrifices – all of these things will make your path to forgiveness more meaningful. Most importantly, you needn’t feel that you are all alone in the process. The Savior has promised to succor us in times of need. During this time, He is always there to sustain and help his prodigal children come back home.

Understand What the Betrayed is Feeling

Respect how your spouse feels on the matter. Understand that he or she is probably using a biological response to defend himself or herself from the trauma. He or she may fight, flee, or freeze. Care for your spouse and, however hard it is not to be defensive, try to truly listen. There must be a questioning/communication process wherein you can ask your spouse what you can do to help. Your infidelity may cause your spouse to react violently, to leave you or to just take time to be alone. Respect that. Try hard not to impose your thoughts or your feelings. This is part of the process of making things better. The road you are traveling with your spouse is not going to be easy. There is no specific amount of time this process will take, but know that these things must be endured with patience and an understanding heart.

There is Life after Infidelity

Let’s face it. However hard we hope, we cannot be 100% sure that all offending spouses will be able to keep their marriage intact. Whether the marriage can be saved or not, life must go on. It is sad to know that some marriages do not survive the aftermath of infidelity but it is noteworthy that there are a good number of couples who have gone through the process and are living their lives together, having learned and grown from the experience. All wounds heal in time. It is all up to us if we let the scars pull us down or push us forward. Continue faithfully in the path of repentance and no matter what happens, strive hard to be better every single day. Life is not only limited to our mortal existence so let us keep on moving forward for there is an eternity waiting.

We do not openly talk about the issue of infidelity. Maybe because we don’t feel comfortable talking to the unfaithful spouse or the betrayed spouse. It may even be seen as gossiping by some if we talk about this problem. But it is something we need to address, so that when we know someone who is suffering from these things, whether directly or indirectly, we may know how to help them.

Amid all the brokenness, the Savior offers a bond that can heal things back together again – whether as a family or as an individual. Only He can bind the hearts that have been shattered and the souls that have been torn apart by the sin of infidelity. We cannot expect a perfect world now but we can hope for a bright future where all things will make sense and where everyone will have gained the experience needed to be worthy to be with Heavenly Father again.

To those who have been been betrayed by a cheating spouse, you can take these steps towards healing:

4 Steps You Need to Take If You Find Out Your Spouse is Cheating On You: A Look Into the Issue of Infidelity (Part 1 of 2)

The post Things an Offending Spouse Needs to Keep in Mind In Order to Save their Marriage: A Look Into the Issue of Infidelity (Part 2 of 2) appeared first on morefaith.ph.

Set a Schedule

An extra hour during Sundays also means families have ample time to set aside specifically for learning the gospel at home. The best way to prepare family for gospel study in the home is to set a schedule where you’re all free from commitments and ready to learn together. Setting a clear schedule can help each member of the family look forward to special times where you can gather and share insights. Once a time slot has been established, family gospel learning can be an activity that both parents and kids – whether young and old – will look forward to and prepare for.

Record Impressions

2 Nephi 25:26 makes a powerful statement on the importance of writing down impressions. It says:

“And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, and we write according to the prophecies , that our children may know to what source they may look for for the remission of their sins.”

Recording impressions received during family gospel study will help both parents and kids be reminded of the feelings and powerful impressions we can receive when we sincerely study the scriptures. Encourage each family member to keep a notebook and journal where he or she can record his or her thoughts. Have a family journal as well where you can write down the feelings and the promptings that came during the activity. A great blessing of learning as a family is that everyone can have the chance to share – something that doesn’t always happen in a class discussion. Help children realize the blessings of studying the gospel early on by encouraging them to write down impressions.

Have a Family Commitment

One of the most popular scripture verses in the Book of Mormon – recorded in 1 Nephi 3:7 – was an expression of Nephi’s commitment to follow the Lord’s commandments. Because Nephi stayed true to his commitment, he was able to become a witness of how the Lord fulfills His promises. Coming up with challenges which you can commit to and act upon can help each family member be reminded of what you have learned. When each family member is blessed with the privilege of feeling the spirit through service, it will leave a mark – a mark that can help them appreciate gospel learning with the family.

Introduce Activities

Be creative with your family gospel study. Introducing activities other than reading and discussing the lesson can help break up the monotony. Come Follow Me for Families and Individuals introduces various activities for every lesson – one activity even includes inviting members to draw what they have learned. How fun is that? Even kids will be excited.

Prepare Together

As you establish a pattern of home-centered, Church-supported gospel learning, don’t miss out on including everyone in the planning and preparation. You can ask the children to pick out hymns – and make sure those hymns are played during your study schedule to invite the spirit. Involve the older kids in the preparation for lessons. When family members are given roles, gospel learning as a family won’t feel like mom and dad’s own agenda again.

Take Time to Encourage

Studying the gospel at home is possible, but it has its own sets of challenges. Some of our family members may feel like reading the scriptures and taking a few minutes to ponder and discuss the topics discussed are just challenging. You can establish gospel learning at home by taking time to reach out, teach and encourage each family member to “feast upon the words of Christ.” If at first, kids get bored or the program doesn’t turn out the way you hope, don’t fret. Consistency is key – just continue to be creative and encouraging.

It is a wonderful opportunity to be alive in these latter days. The Lord is truly hastening His work – He needs laborers who know, laborers who love the gospel. The Lord wants to make sure families are being spiritually strengthened within the walls of their own home. Establishing gospel learning at home will not be easy but remembering these 6 tips – and being consistent – can make a big difference.

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Step 1. Take a Deep Breath

I know this one seems so simple that you might question its significance. However, when you hear such devastating news, you need to first stabilize your heartbeat, regain composure and remind yourself that this is reality. Breathing consciously gives you the pause you need to be able to digest what has just happened. Let yourself come to terms with what you have just learned and don’t forget to take those needed deep breaths.

Step 2. Talk to Someone You Trust

At this point, a wild storm of emotions rages inside of you. You want to shout, bawl, and shout again. That is normal. But it is not healthy to keep these feelings all to yourself. Those emotions brewing up inside of you need to be expressed. Find someone you can talk to. Someone you know you can pour all your thoughts and feelings out to and not be judged. Of course, prayer is such a great help but you  also need to talk to someone you can interact with in times of emotional distress. We all need someone we can open up to, someone who can help us deal with such a heart-wrenching trial. It may be a family member, a friend you trust, your Bishop, or a professional counselor.

Step 3. Talk to Your Spouse in Front of that Someone You Trust

Okay. This may sound weird. I know. Why not talk directly to your spouse, right? Just the two of you. Why involve someone else? Well, not everyone has the same level of maturity when it comes to things like this. We all differ in our reactions and in our acceptance. And confronting a cheating spouse is never easy. You may not be ready on your own to handle the information you just discovered, let alone open up about your shattered feelings with your spouse. If possible, call on someone who can help mediate the discussion. There is no script, unfortunately. But you can make one if you like. You just have to get through it, and deal with the specifics as they arise. At least you will have someone who can regulate the heat if needed.

Step 4. Decide with Your Spouse How to Move Forward

Remember, complete forgiveness is possible with time and effort, and marriage is important, but that doesn’t mean you are forced to stay in a toxic relationship. It is not an easy or quick process to forgive an offending spouse, but it is possible, if both spouses are willing to work together to mend what has been broken. And no matter how hard it is to talk to your spouse about life after adultery, you must do it. You have built a life together. It may be a few months or decades. Deciding what you will do from here, will require both of your thoughts and perspectives. He or she may not want to talk about it but it is crucial that you tell your spouse what you think and feel, and what you believe would be the best thing to do next.

Betrayal is very painful. When you were chosen by your spouse to be “the One”, you became their confidant and their partner. So when your spouse cheats on you, you begin to question yourself. “Am I still lovable? What is wrong with me?” This is why infidelity causes such deep pain. But healing is possible. You can rise above the sorrow and live life with hope. You will need to take more than just these 4 steps to put your life in order again but it will happen. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, our small efforts will be enough. You will need not question whether you deserve love or not for He has given His life for you. That is reason enough that you do.

To those who have betrayed their spouses through their infidelity, you can take the path that leads to forgiveness and healing:

Things an Offending Spouse Needs to Keep in Mind In Order to Save their Marriage: A Look Into the Issue of Infidelity (Part 2 of 2)

The post 4 Steps You Need to Take If You Find Out Your Spouse is Cheating On You: A Look Into the Issue of Infidelity (Part 1 of 2) appeared first on morefaith.ph.