No one can say that he or she has learned enough from the scriptures. The more one reads, the more one learns. Not only can a diligent reader learn about gospel principles and truths, they can also discover subtle tips about life and relationships that even the best self-help books out there can’t give. If one takes the time to read scriptural love stories, they can learn so much. Here are some examples of love and marriage from the scriptures that we can take inspiration from.

1.) Adam and Eve: Learning Together with the Lord

Part of every marriage is the opportunity to learn something new together. It was on a much different level for Adam and Eve. Both were new on the Earth, enjoyed the blessings of the garden of Eden, and consequently had to learn their way in the lone and dreary world. Needless to say, without other people to turn to, the couple relied on the Lord and His instructions.

In new relationships, learning together with the help of the Lord is important. There will be times when challenges will arise. There will be moments of uncertainty. There will be stages where a new couple could feel helpless. Like Adam and Eve, they should learn how to navigate through life with the Lord’s guidance and help.

2.) Jacob and Rachel: Service and Sacrifice

” And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.” (Gen 29:18)

For Jacob, it was love at first sight. In the scriptures, Rachel was described as “beautiful” and Jacob was willing to serve a long time for Rachel. Despite Jacob’s service, Laban, Rachel’s father was not true to his word. So Jacob had to serve another seven years. However, those years were described as “they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her…” (Genesis 29: 20)

Service and sacrifice are important in nurturing relationships, especially the relationship between a husband and a wife. When selfless service is done for a spouse, the love increases and feelings become tender. President Ezra Taft Benson spilled the beans on happy marriages. He said “The secret of a happy marriage is to serve God and each other.” Think of the moments when a spouse’s service helped bring tender feelings to your relationship.

3.) Joseph and Mary: Accepting the Lord’s Will

No one exactly knows what was in Joseph’s mind before the angel told him about Mary conceiving a Son. Perhaps he had other plans in mind. Despite of that, the Savior’s earthly father wholeheartedly accepted the Lord’s will and plan for both of them.

There will come a time in every couple’s life when the Lord’s will is different from what they have planned. One of the most essential attributes a husband and wife must have is the ability to accept and follow the will of the Lord no matter how difficult and different it is.

4.) Nephi and his Wife: Standing Strong in Afflictions

The journey of Lehi’s family to the Promised Land came with all kinds of challenges and trials. One of these trials was the rebellion of Laman and Lemuel. On one occasion, while on the ship leading to the Land of Promise, the two elder sons of Lehi tied Nephi up. Nephi’s wife together with her children prayed to the Lord and wept to Laman and Lemuel to free Nephi. It’s safe to assume that she stayed with her husband during that terrible ordeal.

Husbands and wives are each other’s strength. In times of great affliction — health problems, rebellious children, financial woes — men and women should be the anchor of one another, both relying on each other’s strength and testimony. Problems may not easily be solved but they can be less painful when shared with each other.

5.) Joseph and Emma Smith: Seeing True Potential

Joseph Smith’s educational attainment was humble compared to Emma’s. She was learned while he was just a plain worker. Despite the differences, Emma Hale married the future Prophet. Even after many years and heartbreaking trials, Emma stayed by the Prophet’s side.

Elder Robert D. Hales said “We don’t marry perfection, we marry potential.” Husband and wife must learn to see each other’s divine potential. It is inevitable that weaknesses will be brought in a marriage, however, when both see the potential innate in their eternal companion, improvement follows.

Isn’t it wonderful that the scriptures also address topics like marriages and eternal companionships? Learning from the examples of these couples can also help us as we strive to achieve happy marriages and families.

The post Lessons We Can Learn From Scriptural Love Stories appeared first on morefaith.ph.

Video: No Blessings Denied the Faithful – Elder Gary E. Stevenson

All of us look at our life sometimes and try to evaluate where are we. Where am I in my life?

I’ve always said that when you begin to compare yourself one with another, it either leads to discouragement or at least to pride. Neither of those are good. But that’s often what happens when people begin comparing. They start to think, “my lot in life is better,” or “my lot in life is much worse,” and so it’s not a constructive exercise for us to try to compare our circumstance to another.

Blessings come in the near term, blessings come in the long term, sometimes blessings are in store for us, I believe, after we pass through the veil, in our post-mortal existence. And so we’re in a very finite space right now, and in this finite space it just isn’t beneficial to try to compare adversity that we’ve had or to try to compare the blessings that we have.

We remember when Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden. One of the things that was introduced when they left was thorns and thistles and we all have them in our lives but we can have confidence that all of those can be overcome, whatever those might be that are placed in front of us. The Lord tells us that there’s going to be adversity along the way, and He even suggests to us that our afflictions will be consecrated for our gain.

Now, sometimes we have to wait some years for this, but ultimately we can be assured that the promise of eternal life is for everyone. Everyone will be rewarded for their faithfulness equally. If you endure to the end, you’ll be blessed. It might be hard today and tomorrow and next month, but it will not always be hard.

You can do this as you exercise your faith in Jesus Christ and His atonement. There will be sometimes adversity and trials that will come to us that seem like they’re almost too hard to bear, but then He says, “nevertheless be of good cheer, for I will lead you along.” That’s a promise from the Lord. Be of good cheer in the midst of your adversity be of good cheer for I will lead you along and I bear testimony that Jesus Christ will lead you along in any adversity that you have.

Video: Lifting others – Sister Carol F. McConkie

It is so important that we understand first of all that everyone’s in a different place along the path and we develop an awareness of the people that are around us. I know people who come to church every Sunday so they can be inspired and uplifted and who just simply walk away feeling judged and unloved, unneeded like there is no place for them at church.

We need to do this differently; we need to be deeply aware of what the purpose of coming to church on Sunday is and make sure that everyone who comes feels loved, needed, accepted and lifted. Everybody has struggles we don’t even know about and It’s so important that we be aware that everyone around us is loved of God and that we need to see them through Christ-like eyes and we cannot allow judgment to dictate the way we interact with people. It’s just simply not right.

I feel that the Lord places us where we are and connects us with the people around us for a purpose, because it’s not only about our own progression, but about helping others progress. And I have come to recognize that we are place where we are so that we can love and lift others.

We just cannot be or even call ourselves a disciple of Christ if we are not helping others along that path. The gospel of Jesus Christ does not marginalize people. People marginalize people, and we have to fix that. We need to be sensitive and love them and allow them the opportunity to grow and to blossom and to be their best selves. They have talents and abilities and personality that is needed in the kingdom of God, and if we’re going to build the kingdom of God on the earth we need everyone to come, and do their part, and we need to recognize that. When anyone’s shadow darkens the door of a chapel they ought to feel immediately embraced, and loved and lifted and inspired when they walk out that door to go and be better because they know the Lord loves them and because they have friends in their faith.

Video: Is there a Place for me? – Elder D. Todd Christofferson

I don’t believe I’ve ever met anybody who didn’t want to belong to something that made them feel worthwhile, that made them feel that they had value. When people wonder, “is there a place for me?” it may be any number of things behind that and now they ask themselves, “Do I fit? Do I belong here? Do they really need me?” and I want to say emphatically, “Yes.” I think of the metaphor of Paul, which I love very much, about the Church is the body of Christ and he says we’re baptized into that body, and he says it’s one body, many members but one body.

I understand, you know, people’s feelings at times that they may not be needed and sometimes others are guilty of saying, “We don’t need this person, we don’t need that person, we’re fine as we are,” neither one is true. That’s not the Christian way, that’s not the way Christ sees us. He sees us, all of us, with infinite worth and whatever our condition at the moment may be, the body of Christ is there to sustain each member.

When a person feels isolated I don’t deny the reality of the feeling and why it’s so natural to feel that way, but each of us, whenever that sense may come upon us, need to stop and think. “Jesus Christ died for me. Jesus Christ thought me worthy of his blood and He loves me, He has hopes for me and He can make a difference in my life. His grace can transform me, and maybe this person sitting next to me, ignoring me or even wanting to move away, maybe he or she doesn’t, but that doesn’t change the reality of what Christ feels toward me and the possibilities I have in Christ.” And it breaks my heart if someone comes and is very vulnerable and says, “I want to try it, I want to be here,” and then get a cold shoulder or a lack of interest, and that’s tragic, it really is tragic. We have to be better than that.

The diversity we find now in the church may be just the beginning, frankly. I think we’ll see greater and greater diversity, in the ancient church there was tremendous diversity. And it’s not just diversity for diversity’s sake, but the fact that people can bring different gifts and perspectives and the wide range of experience and backgrounds and challenges that people face will show us what really is essential in the gospel of Christ. And much of the rest that’s been perhaps acquired over time, and is more cultural than doctrinal, can slip away and we can really learn to be disciples. So we, on the one hand, have got to be better as a people at receiving and helping and walking together with everybody, and on the other hand, that every individual needs to be determined that they’re going to have a place in the kingdom of God. They’re going to have a place in the body of Christ and others who are thoughtless or careless or worse can’t prohibit that, can’t drive them away, can’t take it away from them.

Video: The Savior Understands Me – Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

It’s important for every individual to have a relationship with Christ, because salvation is a personal, individual experience. We do not save people by congregations, we are ourselves saved one individual at a time. This is a very personal relationship with Christ. The Savior understands us because He’s not an abstraction, because He is a living, breathing, real Son of God– the living Son of the living God. People who think they’ve sinned too much, or gone too far, or been away for too long and somehow can’t come back into the circle, my declaration is: no one can fall lower than the light of Christ shines. That isn’t possible.

I think my coming to participate in the sacrament, the Lord’s Supper, is the most dramatic way, weekly, that we can show that we want to identify with Him, and that in fact there will be a reciprocal gift and power that comes back from that. As we come to participate and be solidly with the Savior in that act, that solidity and that engagement comes back to us and we leave that congregation, we leave that meeting, with a strength and a power and an understanding from Him that we didn’t have before. Part of it is because we understand Him better, but clearly it represents the fact that He understands us.

My personal experience, as well as my apostolic calling, is to declare personally that Christ does know us. He has walked the thorny, difficult, rock-strewn path of our lives. How He did that, I don’t know, I don’t know! He didn’t have a divorce so you could say, “How does He know about me, because I had one?” I don’t know how He does that, but if somebody out there has had a divorce, He understands.

This sounds awkward to say, but God loved me in a sense almost as much as He loved His only begotten Son. At least I can say this: He gave His only begotten Son for me, and that says something about my worth in His eyes, and my worth in the eyes of the Savior and His willingness to go to Gethsemane and Calvary for me. I’ll never have to do that. I don’t have to bleed, and I don’t have to die for somebody else’s sin, and I don’t have to be that lonely, but I understand it and I love it and I appreciate it. And what it means to me is that He understands me, that He loves me, and that He reaches me. So I can’t explain how that happens I just know that it does.

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Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, “If you try to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human being can do and all that God expects you to do.”

Motherhood may be the most challenging job you can offer to a person but it is the most rewarding experience I have had in this mortal existence. I am now 26 years old and have two kids. Every single day is a journey. The duties and responsibilities are sometimes overwhelming but it teaches me great lessons each time I struggle. For the two years I have been a full-time mom, I’ve learned how to look outward so much more than inward.

From the moment they wake up until the very time that they close their eyes to sleep, mothers think about their children and their family. I think that this helps me to be much more caring to others as well. My role as a mother teaches me how to be more loving, patient, forgiving, kind and understanding. It also teaches me not to judge but to serve and be grateful, to give more than I receive.

Just recently my dad and my sister-in-law got sick and there was no one to take care of my nephew. After hearing the situation I was worried about how my nephew and my nieces were doing. So I called around to find anyone that I could talk to about the situation. Finally, I got the chance to talk to my sister and found out that the kids were alright. The words automatically came out of my mouth, “Faye, I am grateful for your help and that you are there for them. I don’t know what [would have] happened without you. I know we don’t say how much we appreciate you but I want you to know that I am very grateful for your presence.” After that conversation, I realized that my experience being with my children has changed my outlook. It helps me to be much more sensitive to the feelings of others. It is indeed true that motherhood is an eternal partnership with God. Mothers will do everything within their power to take care of His children that have been entrusted to them and He promises His continual help in return.

I love what Elder Holland stated in his tribute to mothers, “Mothers, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are, better than you are, and better than you have ever been”.

I believe that being a mother is not a vocation but it is a noble calling from above. I am not even close to being perfect yet, but I’ve seen how it changes my whole life. I love being a mother and I know that I accepted this calling even before I was born. I am and will be forever grateful for the Lord’s trust in me.

The post How Motherhood Helps Me Become a Better Person appeared first on morefaith.ph.

Value of a Kiss

Our actions speak volumes about our thoughts and our feelings. With this being said, John  Bytheway, an LDS member who has been a missionary in the Philippines, posed a few questions in an LDS magazine in October 2004.

“Suppose you are on a date, and you put your arm around your date’s shoulder. This is a common gesture of affection, but what does it communicate?

How about, “I like you”?

What if you hold hands with your date? That’s perhaps a stronger message, isn’t it? Maybe that’s like saying “I really like you.”

Finally, what if you kiss your date? Then what are you saying? What do kisses mean, anyway?”

Kisses could mean ‘I care for you,’ ‘I hold you dear,’ ‘You are special to me.’ However, it could also mean otherwise. It could mean that kisses are given for pleasure and satisfaction. With the latter being true in some instances, John Bytheway counseled us to “involve the principle of honesty” when we kiss someone.

A word of caution was also shared by Elder Bruce C. Hafen, one of the leaders of the LDS Church in the quorum of the Seventy, he says, “During the time of courtship, please be emotionally honest in the expression of affection. Sometimes you are not as careful as you might be about when, how, and to whom you express your feelings of affection. You must realize that the desire to express affection can be motivated by other things than true love. When any of you—men or women—are given entrance to the heart of a trusting young friend, you stand on holy ground. In such a place you must be honest with yourself—and with your friend—about love and the expression of its symbols.”

It is important to note that Elder Hafen used the words “holy ground” when he described the heart of a trusting friend. We could think of a few other places that we consider holy ground, such as the temple. Like how we act and feel in the temple, we must have a heart with pure intent when we express our affections because the person to whom we express our affections to is also a temple according to Paul in the New Testament.

In order for us to share the same level of commitment, we must talk about our expectations and goals. It is important to have a clear understanding of what actions such as holding hands and kissing will mean. Doing this will prevent disappointments and heartaches from happening.

President Thomas S. Monson, the current Latter-day prophet, cautioned, “Men, take care not to make women weep, for God counts their tears.” As much as this is an absolute truth with a calming assurance for women, I am sure it is safe to say that this caution also applies to women and not solely to men. Women, for whatever reason, might also cause a man to weep. God is a just God and there is no mistaking that He also counts men’s tears because they are His children too.

To prevent tears from being shed, it is our responsibility to act honestly when we express our feelings and affections. John Bytheway counseled that men and women “have an equal obligation to keep affection within appropriate bounds.” May we not take this responsibility so lightly.

Save Your Kisses

There is no commandment pertaining to giving kisses to people. However, young single adults are always cautioned to not involve ourselves in passionate kissing that may lead to transgression. To reiterate the value of saving kisses, John Bytheway shared, “Remember, before you are married, you will be more respected and more attractive for the affection you withhold than for the affection you give.”

President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985), the twelfth prophet of the LDS Church, taught: “Kissing has … degenerated to develop and express lust instead of affection, honor, and admiration. To kiss in casual dating is asking for trouble. What do kisses mean when given out like pretzels and robbed of sacredness?”

Can We Talk?

Affection is not only conveyed through actions. It can also be very well conveyed through words. Getting to know the person we are dating spiritually, mentally and emotionally can be done when we talk to each other. When kissing begins to be the core expression of our thoughts, we might fail to notice that there is nothing more we have in common than our love for kissing. It is important to TALK.

Brother Lowell Bennion, an LDS author, has written: “Once a couple begins to share affection in a physical way, this activity tends to become the focus of interest. Often such a couple ceases to explore the other significant dimensions of personality: mind, character, maturity, religious faith, moral values, and goals.”

He further continues, “Affection should grow out of genuine friendship and brotherly love, not precede them, if one wishes to be sure of having real and lasting love in marriage. Kissing for the sake of kissing invites more affection, and many fine young people become more deeply involved than they actually wish to be.” Kissing is an act of love and love requires honest hearts. May we ever be careful when to use this act.

Suffice to say that kisses have a wide array of meanings. They can be valued like Chanel or a free taste pretzel at a candy store. The choice is yours.

The post For Single Adults Only: Value of a Kiss appeared first on morefaith.ph.

Many of us have experienced the pain of being offended or hurt by the people around us. It is harder to accept when it’s the people we love that cause our sadness. As far as I know, forgiving someone is one of the most difficult things a person could ever do. But why is it hard to forgive?

I recall a story of a young single adult who once fell in love and trusted someone. She did her very best to be worthy for the love of that man. She started developing home-making skills, stayed active in the church and even served as a full time missionary. She would talk about her greatest experience in the mission. She did her best to be faithful and loyal to the Lord’s service. She promised that she would put all her energy and effort in helping others learn the gospel. After her full time service for 18 months, she lost the man she loved the most. He told her that their relationship wouldn’t work anymore.

At that time, it was very difficult for her to accept his apology. She even asked him, “Why did you do this to me? Am I not good enough for you?” But he never gave her any specific answer. The only thing she can remember that day was how sorry he was for everything. Most of us need space or time to move on, but for her she forgave him just before they parted ways. She didn’t get any answer from him but she knew that there were reasons why it happened. She did her part to move on with her life. As time passed, she met another guy who later became her fiancé. Their relationship was not easy, lots of fight happened. Simple things became big issues for her. She feared getting hurt again. She was afraid to give her trust because the relationship might just fail again. She became defensive every time. The date of their wedding was getting closer and one night they had a big fight. She said some things that really hurt his feelings. The next day, they had a long talk. She recalled what her fiancé said, “I know you don’t like this either. I know you dream of a happy family. But I can’t give you that until you forgive me of my shortcomings. I truly love you and I want to be with you forever. I want you to be sure for yourself that this is what you want.”

Her answer didn’t come right away but it made her realize that there was something wrong. She pondered, read the scripture, went to the temple and even asked advice from her parents. She found out that she hasn’t really forgiven her past. She forgot to forgive herself from the past failed relationship. Her mom shared a scripture which says, “charity is the pure love of Christ, it is kind, envieth not, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, beareth all things, believe in all things, hope all things and endureth all things.” She tried to have some closure with her previous boyfriend but she didn’t get a chance. She prayed to Heavenly Father to help her forgive the man who hurt her so much. The next time that she and her fiancé met she asked for an apology and she told him that she’s now ready for everything and for their wedding. They had a beautiful and simple wedding. I remember the time we met and I asked her what greatest blessing she received after that. I was expecting that she would say that it was her husband but it surprised me when she said, “Peace and freedom. It was an unforgettable experience as I said “yes” at the altar. That time it felt like I was born again. It was my greatest victory after all.”

Her story helps me realize that forgiving is not just saying sorry or simply accepting an apology but it is more from deep within. When you forgive, it’s important to learn how to let go, to accept and to start again. Forgiving others will open your way to other opportunities to learn, to serve and to love. I am deeply grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ which helps me live and look forward to eternity. It is sweet to forgive, to forget and to learn from it.

[author][author_image timthumb=’on’]http://faith.ph/files/2016/03/Belle-Alcibor-e1457617498998.png[/author_image]

[author_info]I am a mother. I love sports and music. I express myself most of the time in writing and singing. I like sharing my opinions and I love being a Mormon. – Belle Alcibor

[/author_info] [/author]

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I got the topic captioned above and thought, this is easy. Married at 22, I was one of those considered too young to tie the knot. May 12th, 2012 was when Emil and I got sealed for all time and eternity in the Laie Hawaii Temple. I barely graduated, Emil still had a year of school left, we got into a major accident few weeks before our wedding that left Emil limping for a few weeks and my right eye almost blind, had less than $500 to our names, only worked part time jobs and our parents got denied multiple times to attend our sealing. When you think about it, there are countless of reasons why we shouldn’t get married then. But why did we still persist when everything was conspiring against us? Aren’t those signs NOT to get married? Nope! Not for us. Let me tell you a few reasons why:

Family is essential to the Lord’s plan

The Bible and the Book of Mormon record stories about the importance of family in the sight of the Lord. Eve was made for Adam in the very first few moments of the latter’s life because “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Nephi and his brothers went all the way back to Jerusalem from the wilderness to get Ishmael’s daughters to wife and have children (1 Nephi 7). Truly this examples emphasize how essential marriage is to the Lord.

Marriage unlocks your full potential 

Almost four years into our marriage, Emil and I have learned so much not just about each other, but about the opposite sex in general. Of course, I am not the ultimate representation of womanhood nor him on manhood but we’ve seen how the abilities and differences of man and woman complement each other. There are things that guys can teach girls and vice versa. For me personally, there are practices that I grew up doing that is not very pleasing to other people and to the Lord that only my husband will tell me straight up that it is not okay. Yes we have friends, best friends and even parents that can tell us the habits which we can improve on but they rarely see us inside our homes where we are our true selves. Spouses can help us to further improve our nature and help each other to be more like our Savior.

Money, a degree, a house, a car etc. are not part of the marriage equation

“Hindi pa ako naka-graduate,” “(Insert low paying job) lang ako,” “Di pa namin afford magpakasal,” “Tutulong muna ako sa parents ko,” “Magme-med school muna ako,” “Magttravel muna ako” are just a few of the things we say to ourselves to get the idea of getting married out of our minds. Of course money is important, a degree is important, helping our parents is important. There is nothing spiritual about being impractical. In fact, the Church is one of the best proponents of being self-reliant these things should not be reasons for us to delay obeying a commandment given from the Lord. 

I asked a friend how she decided that it was the right time to get married. She asked her bishop and he gave her three spiritual yardsticks to guide her decision: 1. Do you love him? 2. Is he temple worthy? 3. Are you attracted to him? These three questions do not involve any temporal aspects but instead, all of these questions lead to our relationship with our future spouse and our relationship with the Lord.

I asked another ate how she decided to get married when they didn’t have anything yet and she blissfully answered, “Ano pang iwo-work niyo together kung lahat e tapos na? Diba mas nakaka-enjoy when you work for something together?” To this I can attest. We’ve been through job rejections and promotions together, bought our first car together, traveled to multiple states, visited emergency rooms a couple of times, helped both of our families together and a lot more other things that I can’t even imagine doing by myself alone. Through these triumphs and trials, we’ve learned to not only trust in the Lord but to trust and rely on each other’s abilities.

Change is constant 

We were engaged after 10 months of dating and I often get asked if that is too soon. Para sa ating mga Pinoy, mas matagal, mas maganda kasi mas makikilala pa natin lalo ang isa’t isa. Or is it really mas maganda? Change is inevitable and it will always happen. There will be no right time na kilala mo na siya fully, whatever that means, because both of you will change. I am not the same person who married Emil almost four years ago and so is he because believe it or not, change is constant. There will always be something to learn about the other person. It is an unending process and isn’t it more joyful to be together as both of you learn new things about one another?

Despite all the events that happened prior, the day we decided that “this is it,” is one of the most peaceful days because I know that the Lord is very happy with our decision to enter the temple and to covenant with Him. Getting sealed to the man or woman of your dreams is not just all romance. The equation doesn’t just involve the two of you but it involves yourself, your future spouse and the Lord. Of course, knowing the Lord is on your side when you make right decisions help a lot but most of the time, the task at hand is not easy but however hard it may seem, the Lord will prepare a way for us to accomplish the thing which He commands us to do (1 Nephi 3:7). When you’ve prayed about it and you received a clear answer from the Lord that this really is it, don’t delay it.

“Don’t postpone a prompting; rather, act on it, and the Lord will open the way.”
-President Thomas S. Monson

You might also be interested in these articles about marriage:

• My Marriage Decision as a Mormon in the Philippines
• 6 Tips for Newlyweds on Surviving the First Year of Marriage
• 5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Getting Married

 Would you like to learn more about what Mormons, or members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, believe? Contact us!

The post Why do Mormons Marry Early? appeared first on morefaith.ph.

Tracting = Dating
In the mission field, you’re expected to contact a certain amount of people each week. Some people call it tracting or contacting. The point is, you need to talk to as many people as you can. Your goal? To find that one person/family who is ready to accept the gospel.

Well, doesn’t that sound like dating? You need to talk to people, contact referrals, ask for a person’s phone number, introduce yourself to someone new, etc. For what purpose? To find that one person who will accept you for who you are and make covenants with in the temple. But just like the mission field, dating does not promise immediate success. You will meet people who are: (1) kind but not interested, (2) puts you in the friendship zone, (3) promising but has issues, (4) interested but not committed, and the list goes on. Just remember that you should never give up trying because along the way you’ll meet that golden investigator. Just like the mission.

Extending Commitments = Proposal
“Will you follow the example of Jesus Christ and be baptized on _____?” You’ve asked this question so many times, so you’ve had a lot of practice for that moment when you pop the question “Will you marry me?” And if your feelings are mutual, the answer shouldn’t be a surprise. Well, hopefully…

Community Service Projects = Every Day Life
As a missionary, you dedicated 24/18 months of your life to service. Aside from teaching appointments and finding people, you also had scheduled activities where you had to get your hands dirty. Service projects are great opportunities to help people in the community and share the gospel of Jesus Christ.

When you’re married, every day of your life is a part of an eternity of service projects. That includes cleaning the house, doing the laundry, cooking meals, taking care of the baby, etc. You will have opportunities to make your spouse’s life a bit easier and that means you have to make sacrifices so that both of you can fulfill your responsibilities.

Preparation Days = Date Nights
Remember how excited you were for P Days because you got to spend time with other missionaries and do fun things together? Well those are like date nights when you’re married. You look forward to doing fun things outside of your normal routine at home. You eat out, watch a movie or just go for a walk. The important thing is that you get to spend time together that does not involve work.

Interviews with the Mission President = Prayers
Every couple of weeks, you had an interview with your mission president where you got to share everything you’re feeling and thinking. And I mean EVERYTHING. You talked about your companion, the progress of your investigators, questions you have about the work… everything. And after each interview, you felt so much better.

You no longer have scheduled interviews with your mission president when you’re married, but you do get to talk to Someone who will always listen. Heavenly Father will be your confidant and your support. He will listen to your problems, comfort you when you’re sad, and rejoices with you when you’re happy. And the best part is that you don’t have to wait for that one meeting every couple of weeks to share what’s on your mind. You have unlimited alone time with Him.

Companionship Inventory = Family Council
Part of your responsibility as a missionary was to strengthen your companion. That often required honest discussions about things that needs to be changed and working out your differences. Learning how to give constructive feedback was a skill you developed to improve your relationship with your companions. That’s something you will also need when you’re married. Good thing you had a lot of practice during your mission right?

I think you understand what I’m trying to say. Serving a full-time mission was a great experience and it’s something you will remember forever. But now you have a new mission and that is to get married and have your own family. You’ve already been prepared for it, you just need to find your eternal companion and start your eternal mission together.

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“The quality of experience you’ll have with others is often determined by what happens before a date begins. Showing up on your date’s doorstep with no plan is a recipe for an awkward experience. Nobody likes playing the ‘What do you want to do?’ game.” So una, kailangan may purpose. Ano yung goal ng date na ito? Hindi naman mandatory pero you can set goals before you go on a date. For example, pwede kayo mag goal na for this date you will get to know each other in a deeper level. With that goal, pwede kayo mag-isip ng place and activities na pwede niyo gawin. Kung ang goal niyo is to get to know each other ,syempre hindi kayo manunuod ng movie. Instead, pwede kayo pumunta sa isang amusement park where you can see each other’s different sides and personalities.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have “lines drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant must stay in order to compete.” Success depends on how well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries. Likewise, it’s important to know the “dating lines” or the purposes and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders.” The best dates I had always started with an OPENING PRAYER. Both parties should know and set boundaries. If possible, read church standards on dating. Ito ang dapat tandaan: YOU ARE BOTH RESPONSIBLE FOR EACH OTHER. Protect your date both physically and spiritually.

“Dates don’t always have to cost money. With a little planning, ordinary activities can become dates, such as going for walks or playing games. When two people enjoy each other’s company, then even simple activities can become fun and allow you to get to know each other better.” Alam niyo ba na the best dates are those that cost less? You can go on a temple session together, pasyal sa mga free amusement parks, kwek kwek sa kanto (seryoso), lakad-lakad, usap-usap. Date should be fun pero hindi mahal. Tandaan, hindi nabibili ang pinakamasasayang dates. It should be memorable for both of you. Yung pagkatapos masasabi niyo ulit yung, “next time ulit ha?”

Syempre, kelangan happy ending ang date ninyo. Separate with a smile. “Express gratitude. Be sincere and to the point. If there was something you especially liked, tell your date what it was.” Ito yung favorite kong part, yung ihahatid, yung babalikan kung ano yung mga nakakatawang nangyari, parang evaluation lang. I like this part kasi dito niyo malalaman kung naachieve ba yung goal ninyo.

With all of these tips and to-do stuff, the most important tip you should know about dating is the standard the church had set. “Plan dating activities that are positive and inexpensive and that will help you get to know each other. Do things that will help you and your companions maintain your self-respect and remain close to the Spirit of the Lord.”

[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]http://faith.ph/files/2015/12/12387909_1013235232033072_383603014_n.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]A person with varied interest, personality built in by courage and joy. A woman who’s living in the reality of her own imagination and who strongly believes that she is a daughter of a King – Lyza Marie Suaybaguio [/author_info]

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I remember Elder Robert D. Hales talk from a general conference “The track that leads to marriage passes through the terrain called dating!” Yes dating is the key to success, i mean key to be married. I know your dilemmas about dating. Dating sometimes makes us single adults tend to be pressured which hindi talaga dapat. Dito sa Pinas pag sinabing date e kasal agad ang next. One thing I’ve learned sa class ko sa institute na Dating, Courtship and Marriage is dating happens first before courtship. This is a common misconception dito sa bansa natin ng mga young single adults- ligaw muna bago date. Sa Strength for the Youth manual sinabi dun na dating can help you learn and practice social skills, develop friendships, have wholesome fun, and eventually find an eternal companion. It means no pressure. Friendship muna. I found this wonderful talk about dating sa lds.org, “Dating: A Time to Become Best Friends” by Jonn Claybaugh. All brothers that I’ve dated after mission became one of my closest friends. I remember my first ever real date after mission, i had so much fun. We set goals that our dates should be fun and smooth. That’s how a date supposed to be. If it is fun, you tend to be your real self. Dating is not just about getting to know each other, it is also a process of getting to know of yourself. You will know what kind of person you really want and you’re going to marry.

Yup! I know again your next dilemma, “wala nga nag aask ng date sakin?” at 99.99% mga sisters ang nagsasabi nito. Next question would be “are you doing your part?” Yes, as sisters we should do our part too. Our part is to engage ourselves to the activities where our dear brothers will see our potentials. The church creates so many activities for us to have more acquaintances and have more friends that will best lead to dates and marriages.

One more reason I commonly hear is “busy ako e. walang time” Well here is Elder Donald L Hallstrom’s answer for you. “Leading a balanced life is difficult for many,” he said. “There is not an exact pattern for everyone, and even our own blueprint may change during different phases of our life. However, seeking balance—giving adequate time and effort to each of those things that really matter—is vital to our success in mortal probation. There are certain fundamental responsibilities we cannot neglect without serious consequence.” Go back to our Heavenly Father’s plan and remember your purpose in this life.

Being single is a fun thing. Imagine, you can go on dates as much as you want where you’ll be able to meet people and new friends. But always remember, your goal in dating is to look for a potential eternal companion and not just to hang out. Hanging out with someone is different from dating. Fulfill Heavenly Father’s plan. Regalo mo na ngayong pasko sa sarili mo ang humanap ng date and set goal to marry in the temple. Heavenly Father will definitely help you with this righteous desire. He gave His only Begotten Son for us to be happy and our only way to find happiness in this life is to have a family here on earth through the gospel.

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During an institute class on Building Eternal Families, napag-usapan namin sa klase yung difference between happiness that people experience in married life with the happiness you enjoy when you are single. The impression that came to me was SERVICE. Happiness in married life comes from unlimited opportunities to serve your spouse.

You know how returned missionaries always say that their mission was the best 24/18 months of their lives? Well, I think that’s because all those months were dedicated in the service of the Lord. Every waking hour is focused on how to help your investigator make commitments, contacting, community service projects, etc. With that amount of time dedicated on serving other people, it is a natural effect na masaya ka. Now, imagine having that opportunity every single day for the rest of your life. That’s marriage.

Sabi ko nga sa asawa ko, mas mabait ako ngayon na I’m married. Why? Hindi na mabigat sa loob ko gumising ng maaga kasi I want to cook for my hungry husband. It’s a pleasure to keep the house clean para pag-uwi niya he can relax in a comfortable home. Laundry is no longer a burden kasi I know that he appreciates clean clothes to wear. My happiness no longer depends on what I want, but on how I can make life easier for him.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am no perfect wife. I’ve only been married for 21 days and syempre everything is still rainbows and butterflies. I know challenges will come and there will be days when I wouldn’t want to do chores at home. Pero when that happens, I know someone will be there to lift me up. Eclessiates 4: 9-10 says “Two is better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow…”

Naintindihan ko na ngayon what my friends mean when they say mas masaya ang buhay may asawa. It is true. And the Lord wants all of His children to experience that joy. I understand that not everyone will have the opportunity to be married in this lifetime, and that’s okay kasi the Lord’s promises are not limited in mortality. He will keep His promises as long as we keep ours.

Now that I’m married, I can say na mas masaya talaga pag may asawa. However, my friends no longer say that anymore. They’ve leveled up. Ang sinasabi naman nila ngayon, “mas masaya when you have children.”

Well,… I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.

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