And it did come!

12 years later and I am left with a myriad of lessons and valuable experiences.

But married life for me has not been all about Instagram-worthy photos and likable statuses. There were times when I asked myself if I had made the right choice to marry. And, I must confess, there were times I wished I had chosen otherwise…

He is Not All Mine

After our wedding, my husband was immediately called as the Second Counselor in the bishopric. At first, it was okay because it was just the two of us. But when the children came, I was left alone to watch over them during Sacrament meetings. Every time he was released from a calling, he just got called to another.

Five kids later and I am still left to tend to them during Sacrament meetings because of my husband’s current calling. Imagine the effort just to help them behave appropriately for more than an hour. There were times I felt so tired that I cried myself out in the CR just so the children wouldn’t see me.

Because I wanted so much to have him all to myself, I forgot that my husband is, first and foremost, a son of God. He has a divine role to watch over the souls of those entrusted to his care. Not just me or our children. I also forget sometimes that I am his helpmeet, someone who needs to support him in his God-given callings.

I Am Not All His

When you marry someone, you are to give your all to the one you made your vows to. I wanted to give all of my time to my husband and cater to his needs. It was so for a year.

Then we had our firstborn. I thought, “I can manage. I can still be the ideal wife that he comes home to.”

Then another child… Less time to prepare meals.

The third one came… Less time to do my hair and makeup.

Then came the fourth… Too tired to wait up for him after Law School.

Then the fifth arrived… No more weekly dates.

Feelings of inadequacy and frustration sometimes overcome me. And again, I forgot that I have divine roles as a woman – to serve not only my husband but the souls entrusted to my care, especially my children.

The “Uh-huh” Moments

Every moment spent apart, serving people other than each other, was a teaching moment for us.

My husband has become a positive influence on the people he is serving. I see lives touched. His example is appreciated. I have seen him grow in ways I never could have imagined had he stayed with me all the time.

I look at our children and I feel solace. The joy they bring to my husband can never be replaced by whatever romantic ideas I had in mind. I have given of myself to him in ways I could never have done have I not spent that much time with the kids.

It dawned on me that it is not about my husband. It is not about me. This whole marriage thing is not about us at all…

Marriage is part of a bigger whole, an avenue for a loving Father in Heaven to magnify two people in a synergistic relationship. What I can do alone and what my husband can do by himself, added up, can never be greater than what we can do together.

That’s how marriage fits into the great Plan of Happiness. It broadens our opportunities to take part in building the Kingdom of God. It increases our capacity to love, to serve and to take care of God’s children.

We have changed. Our perspective, our desires and our efforts are slowly being tailored to what the Lord wants for us as a married couple. Perfection is still way beyond where we are right now. But as I look at our children and the people we have the opportunity to serve, I know I have made the right choice. My efforts in preparing for and sustaining our marriage are all worth it.

The post In Marriage, He’s Not All Yours and You Are Not All His appeared first on morefaith.ph.

One of the fun things about that family home evening game is that Papa would usually assign us specific roles. He always filled the role of the captain. Mama was often assigned to be a “watchman.” Us older kids were Papa’s “assistants.” Our little brothers, on the other hand, were the ones to tell Papa where the sharks were. You can imagine how loud our shrieks and screams were whenever Papa would shout “The shark is near! Protect Liam and Louie!” My sister and I would then do our best to keep our brothers away from the “shark.”

It has been more than a decade since we last played that activity as a family, however, I can still remember the game, not only because it was super fun, but because of the lessons I learned from it. As the years rolled on, that game has slowly became a reality, spiritually speaking.

Spiritual Sharks Are Real

In this generation, families are indeed in a boat that is vulnerable to spiritual sharks lurking in rough seas. These spiritual sharks are so cunning that sometimes, we don’t realize how dangerous they can be. The world and its philosophies may, at times, tell us that the sharks are safe and that you can actually pet them. Families should help warn each other that spiritual sharks are not just make believe. They actually exist and family members need to protect each other from this danger.

Parents Guide, Siblings Remind

Both my father and mother played important roles in the game to make sure we were all led to safety. I realized later that in order to protect the family from spiritual sharks, parents must be brave enough to point out where the spiritual sharks are. Parents, like the captain, should also know which way to steer the boat. Children need their parents’ firm stand when it comes to moral issues. Children need parents who will help them get back on the right track, no matter how difficult and painful it is.

But the role “guardian of virtue” isn’t only for mothers and fathers. This responsibility can also include siblings. What I like most about our game was that no matter how little we were back then, Papa was confident enough to assign our brothers’ well-being to us. Growing up, I took the role of “guardian of virtue” pretty seriously. I was often the “makulit,” “masermon” big sister. I knew my brothers’ potentials and I wanted to protect them from spiritual sharks. Siblings should help remind each other of who they are and why they should stay away from edges that would make them an easy target for spiritual sharks.

Family Home Evening Game: Lesson For Life

One of the things we looked forward to at the end of the game were the words “We have reached the island safely!” Aren’t these words comforting, especially for those who have just traveled through a dangerous sea? Raising a righteous family at this time can feel like being on a boat that traverses shark-infested territory. Spiritual sharks are everywhere. However, when parents courageously stand for what is right, when siblings become each other’s “guardian of virtue,” crossing the sea safely is possible.

The post “Watch Out For Sharks!” appeared first on morefaith.ph.