One of the most profound allegories I have found in the scriptures has always been the refiner’s fire. Throughout my early youth, the image of the Lord being my Refiner has shaped my perspective about life’s most difficult trials, and the good that can come from it.

The Refiner’s Fire

In the allegory of the refiner’s fire, a piece of rough ore- a rock encased with minerals- naturally contains impurities. However, with those impurities, it also carries within it precious metals such as silver and gold. For the refiner to create something out of that piece of ore, he needs to begin the refining process by breaking the ore with a heavy hammer. The ore then must be exposed to the refiner’s fire, with temperatures as high as 900-1000 degrees Celsius, in order to burn away the impurities and reveal the precious metal inside.

Parallel to the hammering and exposure to extreme temperatures, God refines us by allowing us to go through painful trials and difficulties. One might think, “What is the purpose of letting His children suffer if He truly loves us?”

This allegory is meant to help us understand the purpose beyond our pain- to ultimately rid us of our weaknesses and let our faith and strength flourish. We must realize that it is part of His plan, and prepares us for our eternal destiny.

We have been taught by Elder James E. Faust that, “In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through the refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong.”

Heat Beyond What We Can Bear

No one is exempt from passing through the refiner’s fire. Times of anguish, sorrow, and painful heartbreak come to everyone, including those who are faithful and seeking to do the right things. For some, their afflictions might seem like punishment. Yes, some of our hardest afflictions in life are results of our own foolishness and mistakes. Even so, President Joseph F. Smith reasoned, “It is a feeble thought to believe that the illness and affliction that come to us are attributable either to the mercy or the displeasure of God.”

But when we feel the crushing impact of the hammer in our lives and the heat seems turned up beyond what we think we can bear, we need not feel as though we are being punished. He allows trials into our lives that we might “rise above them, [and gives us] responsibilities that we might achieve, work to harden our muscles, [and] sorrows to try our souls.”

The heat is never about destroying you, it is about shaping you into what He knows you can become. Through the “furnace of affliction”, the Master Refiner orchestrates His marvelous plan to turn you into something beautiful. As Brad Wilcox said, “God would not put you through the refiner’s fire, if you were not worth refining.”

Stronger After the Fire

He trusts us to brave the grueling heat of the fire. He would not turn up the heat to temperatures He knows we can’t bear. For some, going through such difficulty can cause their faith to deteriorate or cause them to lose their belief in God. But if we shape our perspective into one that is eternal we may come to comprehend that the refiner’s fire is to strengthen us. It is part of our road to perfection-eventually.

We can find the good in the trials that come into our lives. With that, we hang onto hope, and trust in the Master Refiner’s perfect plan. Most importantly, however, we persevere in faith.

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I dug a pit of self-pity and self-doubt for myself. There were nights that I stared into blank space, not able to go to sleep. This went on for a couple of weeks until I decided that it is okay to get lost, to not know everything, to not have everything all figured out. I realized that people get lost in many ways and it is okay. What’s not okay is to stay in that state and not find myself again.

There were several realizations or gifts that helped me get through this trial.

Jesus never forsakes a lost sheep

When I was too confused about which path I should pursue, the Parable of the Lost Sheep rang truer than any time in my life. My hopes soared high realizing that Jesus would find me and help me find myself again. I knew that Jesus would never forsake a lost sheep. This required me to give up questioning many things in my life, trust His plans and let Him find me. In the Book of John, He said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life…” He knows the way because He is the way. There is no other sure way of finding myself than His way, is there? Finding myself again is the gift of Jesus finding me first.

I learned to listen to my own voice

There were so many voices around me telling me what I should do, where my career path should lead, how my life should be. These voices only caused more confusion in my head and pointed to countless paths I was not sure I wanted to take. I was pressured and frustrated because I wanted to live up to other people’s expectations of me. As I tried to listen to my own voice, I realized that the desire to improve and grow in this mortal life comes from within and this desire cannot be fueled by someone else’s expectation. I learned to make peace with myself that the only expectation that I should live up to is Heavenly Father’s expectation of me: to do everything I can to return to His presence.

I learned to appreciate the Book of Mormon more

While I was lost on what to do with my life, I was looking for knowledge to somehow shed light on things. I spent time reading articles from the most-renowned publications, feasting upon the words of this world’s experts. These articles gave me light, but not enough light to help me see what mattered most. That’s when I realized that when searching for truth and knowledge, why not read the “most correct book of any book on earth”? I spent my mornings reading the Book of Mormon. It did not teach me, step-by-step, how to find myself again, but it taught me principles that helped me face the trial of being lost—faith, perseverance, obedience, and hard work, among many others—all exemplified in the lives of prophets and apostles in the Book of Mormon.

I learned to accept that I couldn’t do everything on my own

I grew up always feeling like an independent woman. I felt all the more independent when I moved to the US alone when I was 18, which is not typical for 18-year old Filipinas. I like to do things my own way. I feel like I can do things on my own. But this is not really the case. My family has always been there to back me up when things don’t go as planned. My friends have always been there to cheer me up when things get rough. And most especially, the Lord has always been in the details of my life. All my life, I was never truly independent of anything because I did not face life alone. Accepting this fact allowed me to seek help and guidance from those who care about me. I learned to pray more fervently and more earnestly. It is during my state of being lost that I felt closest to Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, my family, and my friends.

I have wondered why I had to go through this trial. Now I realize that going through this trial was the way for Jesus to find me, for me to find myself again, and for me to learn the gift of being lost.

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“Trust in the Lord’s timing; he knows what’s best for you and your family.”

I have heard this statement often and, without a doubt, is a bold testimony from individuals who have had to wait upon the Lord’s timing and were blessed because of their patience and trust in Him. Every time I hear stories that include this theme, I feel in my heart an overwhelming sense of assurance that what they are telling me is true. However, why is it that when it comes to my life, I have a hard time holding on to this truth?

Ever since I was young, I’ve loved planning. If a competition is important to me, I am the kind of person who plans two months ahead just to make sure I will have total control of the situation. I love the feeling of being in control of things.

But sometimes, life reminds us that we are not always in control of things. There will be moments when we have to put our faith in the Lord’s timing. I learned this truth to a greater degree, when I decided to settle down with my husband.

Suddenly, the dream job that we both wanted was given to someone else, our desires for a child had not yet been granted, and the question of where to truly settle for good, was left hanging in the air. The future looked bleak, at least for me.

My mother loved to remind us of President Thomas S. Monson’s words, “the future is as bright as your faith.” I had faith in the Lord, and I had faith that He has provided us with a wonderful plan for the future. But trusting in His timing was another story. It was just so hard to wait.

I remember that Christmas Eve, my heart overflowed with heaviness, anxiety, and hopelessness for the future. The plans I had for myself and for my future family were righteous and important but it seemed as though they were out of reach. The people around me seemed to have the desires of their hearts granted; were my hopes and dreams not right? I poured out my heart in prayer asking for more faith to trust in the Lord’s timing. With tears in my eyes, I asked the Lord if I was not worthy of His promised blessings. “I am your daughter, right? Why is it that the plans I have set are not falling into place?” After a heartfelt prayer, I was prompted to open a General Conference talk from Sister Neill Marriott entitled “Yielding our Hearts to God.” A particular line from her talk struck a personal chord with me:

“I have struggled to banish the mortal desire to have things my way, eventually realizing that my way is oh so lacking, limited, and inferior to the way of Jesus Christ. His way is the path that leads to happiness in this life and eternal life in the world to come. Can we love Jesus Christ and His way more than we love ourselves and our own agenda?”

Right then and there, I realized that all along, it had been about “my” plan and the timing “I” wanted. After reflecting on this talk, it dawned on me that I had never tried to ask the Lord what He has planned for my family and I. During the process, my faith that the Lord’s timing was the best and that I needed to wait upon Him wavered. I was too preoccupied with the thought that “my” plans were not working out, which led me to feel sad, angry, frustrated, and bitter. I failed to realize that I needed to trust more in the Lord’s timing.

After that humbling experience, I still had little struggles with being faithful and positive about His plans and His timing. But as I learned how to put my faith in His timetable, I was able to see the many blessings that I never saw before. The blessings may not have been as extravagant as what some other people around me received, but they were many and they were a testimony that the Lord was absolutely mindful of his faithless daughter. From that experience, I became a witness that the Lord truly knows the blessings He plans to give us; sometimes, we just have to wait.

There are times when we just have to wait for that perfect job to come, in order for us to support our family without having to worry every month. Often, some of us need to wait for healing. Many of my single friends have to bear with faith the years of waiting for their eternal companions to finally come into their lives. At times, an ever-trusting parent needs to wait for their children to come back to the fold. Life is filled with moments of waiting and trusting in the Lord’s timetable. Delaying our plans isn’t always easy, but it teaches a powerful lesson and helps build our faith.

I add my testimony to Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s when he said:

“Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come.”
I know that the Lord’s timetable is the best. There are still some things on my bucket list that haven’t been given to me but I know that if it is according to His will, He will provide. He knows our past, our present, and our future, therefore, He knows what blessings to give us for our good. Let us have faith and wait upon the Lord.

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