One of my daughters shouted, “Yes! We are free!”

And I somehow had the same sentiment. Then I pondered on the word “freedom”.

Freedom is something so precious that men are willing to die for it. In the course of history, we have learned how high the price of freedom can be. Today, in a world of technology and ease, do we really appreciate freedom? Or do we regard ourselves as so entitled to freedom that we are not willing to pay the price of being free.

We closely relate freedom to independence and self-reliance. So this summer, let’s give our children opportunities to be self-reliant. There are core aspects in life wherein we can work with our children to teach them this principle.

Spiritual Self-reliance

Upon waking up in the morning, let’s encourage them to pray and read the scriptures. These steps can greatly affect how their testimony will grow. We can have them start on keeping a journal. Encourage them to share their testimony by writing to friends and family who are not members of the church. These are opportunities for them to feel the Holy Ghost. We can teach them to recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost by telling them that the warm, comforting feeling they have after doing good is the Spirit of the Lord working in them. This is a confirmation and an assurance to them that what they are doing is pleasing in the eyes of the Lord. This same warm, comfortable feeling will help them understand what is expected of them as children of God. Once they develop this sensitivity to the Spirit, they can then act on the promptings even if they are on their own. The time they spend doing these types of activities will help them know for themselves the beauty of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and develop a desire to share it with others.

Physical Self-reliance

Wake them up early. There is a tendency that to get out of bed late when there is no pressure to go to school in time for the first class. Make sure there is still a specific time for waking up. This will keep their body clocks in check. Involve them in household chores. They can no longer pull the “I need time to study” or “I need time to get my project done” trick to get away. Assign specific tasks for them to accomplish. Make sure that you measure their progress in their tasks.

Sports is also a great way for them to spend the summer hours. Let your children take advantage of opportunities to move and stretch their muscles. Help them get out of their comfort zones and push themselves to do more. We can also teach our children about eating right. Let us develop in them a sense of responsibility for the gift of their mortal bodies. As the old adage says, “health is wealth”. Having our children take care of their bodies is a great investment.

Emotional Self-reliance

With an increasing number of depression cases among the young, there is a great need to increase stability in the emotional health of children. Service is one effective way to address this. During the summer days, give children opportunities to serve. When they serve others they will triumph over the tendency to feel self-pity. They will not feel defeated despite the pressures of their days because they will see that they are capable of helping others. This is power – power over feelings of inadequacy, power over the wiles of Satan to make them think they are worthless. Work with them on service projects, however simple they are. Compliment their efforts, however small, and celebrate their little victories. Matthew 10:39 teaches “He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” Once they develop a sense of service to others, they will be happy people set to be winners in life.

Financial Self-reliance

It is never too early to teach our children temporal stability, even at a young age. Teach them principles of hard work and give them opportunities to earn. Awaken their entrepreneurial spirit. Help them start a business. Train them on basic accounting. Give them accountability over what they earn by teaching them how to budget. Teach them how to pay tithes and offerings. Make them save for things they want to have instead of giving them money to buy what they want. If kids understand that they can actually earn, they will have a head start towards a life of financial independence. They will not fall into an attitude of entitlement.

Children have minds that are very impressionable. They absorb information so fast while they are young. Let us take advantage of the summer months to teach them self-reliance. Build in them a strong foundation of independence. We must invest time, effort and resources for our children while they are in their youth. As they grow up they will have the initiative to learn what they have to learn, do what they have to do and be who they can become. That is what true freedom is – “to act and not to be acted upon.” They will grow to be responsible citizens who contribute instead of just getting and receiving. They will be leaders – first of themselves, then eventually they will be able to lead others. And if they are ever asked how they do it, they will answer,

“One summer when I was a kid, my parents taught me how to be self-reliant…”

The post I was Taught by my Parents to be Self-reliant One Summer appeared first on morefaith.ph.

Those aspirations came and went, and I am now a parent. It was in 2011 that I first became a mother. After 28 hours of labor, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy! My husband and I were ecstatic, and so excited to bring him home from the hospital.

Signs and Symptoms

We called him Eli. He was my first born and I felt so inexperienced with babies. I learn from other moms including my own mother and had to learn as I went along. Eli was a sweet and playful toddler, and his development seemed completely normal. Until other moms would compare their kids to mine. When that happens, no matter how well-meaning some mom friends are, at times you can’t help but be concerned also. So you keep on observing your own kid.

By the time Eli turned two, it was obvious that he was different than other kids his age. He made repetitive noises over and over. His speech was delayed. He would flap his hands when he got excited. He walked on his tiptoes. He did not really make eye contact with others and he played with his toys differently by lining them up instead. He was easily distracted. Whenever he was introduced to other kids, he’d take whatever the kid was holding and examine it without a word, instead of playing with the child. He was a hyperactive toddler with no sense of danger, and seemed to be all over the place. He would lie on the floor at church just to feel the cold floor tiles on his face, or climbing windows in the classrooms. He lived in his own world.

A good friend of my husband suspected autism, but I was still in denial. I told my husband, “Whatever Eli will be, we will still love him.” I was more excited about the possibility of my baby going on a mission at 18. So we left it at that. Later, I decided to find out on my own. I did some research online regarding childhood developmental stages. When I found out from the M-Chat questionnaire that he was high risk for autism, I decided to take him to a developmental pediatrician.

It Is Confirmed

When the doctor confirmed his condition, I felt numb. Even though I was bracing for it, I still felt at a loss. My husband and I didn’t know what to say. How did it happen? What do we do now? Will he live independently? Will he go on a mission? Will he marry? Questions I couldn’t bear to ask, I didn’t know where to begin. The doctor recommended early intervention therapy for Eli, and we left  the doctor’s clinic. My husband was still schedule to work the night shift, and I had to go back home to feed the kids and put them to bed. I didn’t cry, I was too stunned.

As much as we worried about how to fund our son’s therapy, I kept myself busy for two weeks after that diagnosis day. I was invited to attend a seminar for parents with autism conducted by the Autism Society Philippines in our area so I went, and tried to learn about the condition. I wanted to understand it; perhaps there would be some solution. I learned that unfortunately autism has no cure, but it can be managed. I learned that I was NOT the one having a hard time, but my child was. Because even though this world is overwhelming for him, he is a hero for trying his best to cope and to live. They just simply think differently than others. As Temple Grandin coined it, “They are different, but not less.”

I didn’t cry for two weeks. I didn’t allow myself to grieve over the news. I wanted to accept his condition but I don’t want to feel pity about it. I wanted to act as if everything was ok.

During That Quiet Moment

Days passed, then came another Sunday. While sitting inside the quiet sacrament hall, Eli had a meltdown. It happened while the bread was being passed. While he lay crying on the floor I only looked at him. I felt overwhelmed by a responsibility like him. Then tears came rolling down my face, and I couldn’t even pick him up somehow. My husband saw me but he couldn’t comfort me during those moments because he was sitting on the stand that day.. The Lord chose that particular Sunday to let me really process things and grieve. Perhaps He wanted me to understand that grieving is important. “It is overwhelming right now but it’s going to be ok,” He said.

A kind sister in the ward picked Eli up and took him outside in the hall. After the sacrament, I went out and found them in the bathroom where she was letting Eli play with water in the sink to calm him down.

He Taught Us, More Than We Can Teach Him

Eli is now 6 years old and doing much better now that we’ve adjusted to our new “normal.” We have accepted his condition as a family. I don’t get oversensitive about it anymore, only sometimes. He finally started verbalizing words at 4 years old, articulating about the things he likes and doesn’t like. He reads like a third grader and can sing. There are still times he finds it hard to express himself, but he is really doing his best. There have been many developments that I have seen. Still, there are so many things to work on. Some days are still harder than others.

We don’t try to hide his condition from him either. He knows he has autism. I don’t know whether he thinks it’s normal to have it or he thinks maybe everyone has it too, so it’s ok. In fact, I learned that some disabilities are not visible to the eyes. I have learned to be an advocate for autism. I learned that once a parent is able to accept the facts about this disability, they can better help their child by finding the right treatment. Denial does not help; a parent in denial will also deny anything that will help their child correct behaviors and cope with the disability.

A child with autism sees the world differently, but they are just like any other person who wants to be loved, and enjoy things like any other kid.

A scripture in Isaiah 11:6 says: “…and a little child shall lead them.”  I thought I would be a teacher for my son, but it is actually the other way around. He is a teacher to us, his parents. As we let him take our hands and show us, we are amazed. I thank Heavenly Father every day for an gift like Eli.

The post LDS and Raising a Child on the Spectrum – Our Autism Story appeared first on morefaith.ph.

One of the fun things about that family home evening game is that Papa would usually assign us specific roles. He always filled the role of the captain. Mama was often assigned to be a “watchman.” Us older kids were Papa’s “assistants.” Our little brothers, on the other hand, were the ones to tell Papa where the sharks were. You can imagine how loud our shrieks and screams were whenever Papa would shout “The shark is near! Protect Liam and Louie!” My sister and I would then do our best to keep our brothers away from the “shark.”

It has been more than a decade since we last played that activity as a family, however, I can still remember the game, not only because it was super fun, but because of the lessons I learned from it. As the years rolled on, that game has slowly became a reality, spiritually speaking.

Spiritual Sharks Are Real

In this generation, families are indeed in a boat that is vulnerable to spiritual sharks lurking in rough seas. These spiritual sharks are so cunning that sometimes, we don’t realize how dangerous they can be. The world and its philosophies may, at times, tell us that the sharks are safe and that you can actually pet them. Families should help warn each other that spiritual sharks are not just make believe. They actually exist and family members need to protect each other from this danger.

Parents Guide, Siblings Remind

Both my father and mother played important roles in the game to make sure we were all led to safety. I realized later that in order to protect the family from spiritual sharks, parents must be brave enough to point out where the spiritual sharks are. Parents, like the captain, should also know which way to steer the boat. Children need their parents’ firm stand when it comes to moral issues. Children need parents who will help them get back on the right track, no matter how difficult and painful it is.

But the role “guardian of virtue” isn’t only for mothers and fathers. This responsibility can also include siblings. What I like most about our game was that no matter how little we were back then, Papa was confident enough to assign our brothers’ well-being to us. Growing up, I took the role of “guardian of virtue” pretty seriously. I was often the “makulit,” “masermon” big sister. I knew my brothers’ potentials and I wanted to protect them from spiritual sharks. Siblings should help remind each other of who they are and why they should stay away from edges that would make them an easy target for spiritual sharks.

Family Home Evening Game: Lesson For Life

One of the things we looked forward to at the end of the game were the words “We have reached the island safely!” Aren’t these words comforting, especially for those who have just traveled through a dangerous sea? Raising a righteous family at this time can feel like being on a boat that traverses shark-infested territory. Spiritual sharks are everywhere. However, when parents courageously stand for what is right, when siblings become each other’s “guardian of virtue,” crossing the sea safely is possible.

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