Value of a Kiss

Our actions speak volumes about our thoughts and our feelings. With this being said, John  Bytheway, an LDS member who has been a missionary in the Philippines, posed a few questions in an LDS magazine in October 2004.

“Suppose you are on a date, and you put your arm around your date’s shoulder. This is a common gesture of affection, but what does it communicate?

How about, “I like you”?

What if you hold hands with your date? That’s perhaps a stronger message, isn’t it? Maybe that’s like saying “I really like you.”

Finally, what if you kiss your date? Then what are you saying? What do kisses mean, anyway?”

Kisses could mean ‘I care for you,’ ‘I hold you dear,’ ‘You are special to me.’ However, it could also mean otherwise. It could mean that kisses are given for pleasure and satisfaction. With the latter being true in some instances, John Bytheway counseled us to “involve the principle of honesty” when we kiss someone.

A word of caution was also shared by Elder Bruce C. Hafen, one of the leaders of the LDS Church in the quorum of the Seventy, he says, “During the time of courtship, please be emotionally honest in the expression of affection. Sometimes you are not as careful as you might be about when, how, and to whom you express your feelings of affection. You must realize that the desire to express affection can be motivated by other things than true love. When any of you—men or women—are given entrance to the heart of a trusting young friend, you stand on holy ground. In such a place you must be honest with yourself—and with your friend—about love and the expression of its symbols.”

It is important to note that Elder Hafen used the words “holy ground” when he described the heart of a trusting friend. We could think of a few other places that we consider holy ground, such as the temple. Like how we act and feel in the temple, we must have a heart with pure intent when we express our affections because the person to whom we express our affections to is also a temple according to Paul in the New Testament.

In order for us to share the same level of commitment, we must talk about our expectations and goals. It is important to have a clear understanding of what actions such as holding hands and kissing will mean. Doing this will prevent disappointments and heartaches from happening.

President Thomas S. Monson, the current Latter-day prophet, cautioned, “Men, take care not to make women weep, for God counts their tears.” As much as this is an absolute truth with a calming assurance for women, I am sure it is safe to say that this caution also applies to women and not solely to men. Women, for whatever reason, might also cause a man to weep. God is a just God and there is no mistaking that He also counts men’s tears because they are His children too.

To prevent tears from being shed, it is our responsibility to act honestly when we express our feelings and affections. John Bytheway counseled that men and women “have an equal obligation to keep affection within appropriate bounds.” May we not take this responsibility so lightly.

Save Your Kisses

There is no commandment pertaining to giving kisses to people. However, young single adults are always cautioned to not involve ourselves in passionate kissing that may lead to transgression. To reiterate the value of saving kisses, John Bytheway shared, “Remember, before you are married, you will be more respected and more attractive for the affection you withhold than for the affection you give.”

President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985), the twelfth prophet of the LDS Church, taught: “Kissing has … degenerated to develop and express lust instead of affection, honor, and admiration. To kiss in casual dating is asking for trouble. What do kisses mean when given out like pretzels and robbed of sacredness?”

Can We Talk?

Affection is not only conveyed through actions. It can also be very well conveyed through words. Getting to know the person we are dating spiritually, mentally and emotionally can be done when we talk to each other. When kissing begins to be the core expression of our thoughts, we might fail to notice that there is nothing more we have in common than our love for kissing. It is important to TALK.

Brother Lowell Bennion, an LDS author, has written: “Once a couple begins to share affection in a physical way, this activity tends to become the focus of interest. Often such a couple ceases to explore the other significant dimensions of personality: mind, character, maturity, religious faith, moral values, and goals.”

He further continues, “Affection should grow out of genuine friendship and brotherly love, not precede them, if one wishes to be sure of having real and lasting love in marriage. Kissing for the sake of kissing invites more affection, and many fine young people become more deeply involved than they actually wish to be.” Kissing is an act of love and love requires honest hearts. May we ever be careful when to use this act.

Suffice to say that kisses have a wide array of meanings. They can be valued like Chanel or a free taste pretzel at a candy store. The choice is yours.

The post For Single Adults Only: Value of a Kiss appeared first on morefaith.ph.

Somehow, as Filipinos, we feel na it’s our responsibility to have a big wedding. We are greatly influenced by our culture and what is socially expected sa weddings. It is hard to break the norm, but, as Latter-day Saints, aren’t we used to doing just that?

A friend recently asked me kung magkano ang kailangang budget para magpakasal. Sabi ko sa kanya, hindi magastos ang wedding ceremony. License lang ang babayaran kasi libre naman magpakasal sa temple. The financial burden of getting married comes from the “extras.” Yung gown, photography, reception, etc. Kung sa ceremony lang, you only need about PHP 1,270 to get married.

Couples need to submit 3 requirements to be sealed inside the temple: marriage license, living ordinances, and temple recommends. Out of these requirements, yung marriage license lang ang kailangan bayaran. To get the license, couples need to submit:

• Certificate of No Marriage/CENOMAR: PHP 430

If you’re going to get it sa SM Business Centers, each certificate costs PHP215. You will get it after 14 business days.  Another option is getting it from the NSO. Mas mura at mabilis makuha ang certificate, pero maraming tao.

• Community Tax Certificate/Cedula: PHP 110

It’s best to get your cedula at the beginning of the year para walang late penalty. The cost of the cedula depends on your monthly income. The basic cost is PHP 55 for those who are unemployed.

• ID picture: PHP 160

If you get your picture taken at malls, it’s usually about PHP 80 per person. But I think there are cheaper ones  sa mga “rush ID” stalls.

• Birth Certificate: PHP 320

Same with getting a CENOMAR, you can opt to get it at the NSO or sa SM Business Centers. Each Certificate costs PHP 160.

• Application form and processing fee: PHP 250

You’ll have to pay this at the City Hall to get your application form.

Note: You also need to attend a seminar to be issued a license and walang bayad yun.

As a Latter-day Saint, we are taught to live within our means. We are also taught that we should not postpone marriage until after we are “settled” or “stable.” There is wisdom in this counsel. While preparing for my wedding, I learned to prioritize the things that matter most. It was a great experience for my fiancé and me to talk about the things that were important to both of us. It was also a perfect opportunity to discuss our financial goals. I learned that what really mattered to my fiancé (and I think this is true to most guys out there) is that he was marrying me in the temple, and that can happen with or without the celebration. I also learned that determining the budget should not be restricted on the ceremony and the celebration alone, mas mahalaga yung mga expenses after the wedding like bahay, mga gamit, etc.

If there is anything I gained from my experience, it would be this:  You do not have to postpone getting married just so you can have a big wedding celebration. That is what our leaders teach us and we will be blessed when we obey. Besides, when you finally meet the person you want to marry, there’s no reason to delay your happily ever after.

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There is forever, if you believe with every bit of you the want of it. In this case, love becomes more than just a human type of love, it becomes something alive, something that develops and grows. It deepens, it takes its own course through and through, until it becomes eternal in nature. Learn from God himself: Isaiah 40:8. – Pheobe, Hawaii

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Those who say no forever, I believe, are those who do not understand the purpose of life. – Jonas, Utah

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Para sa akin, nagjo-joke lang sila kasi yung saying na yan ay uso ngayon. Parang expression lang nila. Or maybe, sinasabi nila na “walang forever” cause they are losing hope na makahanap ng partner and they feel discouraged. But I don’t feel they really meant it kasi naniniwala naman talaga ang mga members na may eternity, forever pa kaya? Ginagamit lang nila as expression cguro. – Aileen, Davao

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There’s a big difference if a church member would say it. For me, honestly, I brush it off because I think nagpapa-cute lang sila kasi we are already taught na may forever so why say the opposite? Nakiki-uso? – Ira, California

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Para sa akin, ang forever ay nasa relationship as long as two individuals work with each other. Give and take relationships. The Lord declared that husband and wife can be together when they are sealed in the Temple. That is for all time and eternity. Naniniwala ako sa forever, basta both couple will work it out. Andyan yung trust, respect, love, and soooo many things pa. – Alice, Japan

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At first, I would just brush it off and dismiss it thinking that that could just be an expression they’re using considering “walang forver” is a line popular especially to the youth. However, when someone who just had a heartbreak would suddenly insist that there really is no forever, I feel really sad. The knowledge of being with the love of my life and my family for time and all eternity has comforted me in times of great anxiety and challenges. The truth that indeed there is a forever has strengthened us and our resolve to live worthy of that blessing. I feel sad when people lose sight of that truth because a great hope comes with having faith in the promise of forever. – Giulia, Quezon City

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I think we members should not be seen nor be heard with the “walang forever” thing. This is not just a mockery to the atonement but a non-humanitarian act of hurting more those who are already losing their grip to the light of Christ because of heartbreak. There is a thing called FOREVER and that’s A HARD TRUTH that not even the most intelligent brain can bend. – Jun, Quezon City

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Para sa akin, sa mga tao na nagsasabi na walang forever I think hindi nila na appreciate yung time nila nong may bf/gf pa sila, like they just focus on the negative side ng relationship. Para sa akin lahat ng relationship ay naglala-last forever kahit hindi naging kayo in the end. It lasts forever kasi sa mga good memories, fun times, etc. Para sa akin hindi dapat mag-end yung relationship or friendship kahit di na kayo. – Rommel, Thailand

I’m grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ kasi it taught me na merong forever. Though some members joke about it, I hope that friends not of our faith understand that Mormons believe in forever. Life without the promise of forever is not a life worth living.

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