These parables are centered on the principle that we must find those who are lost, bring and welcome them back to the fold. This is what we are counseled to do. Knowing that the worth of a soul is of great value in the eyes of God, we work hard to find those who left the church and give our best efforts in inviting them to come back. These efforts may include inviting them to church activities, fulfilling our visiting and home teaching assignments, referring them to the missionaries, and sending them letters and small gifts. But after all that, what if they are still not coming back to church? What do we do? We PAUSE. We pause and think about our intentions. Do we want them to come back out of responsibility? Or do we want them back because we love them?

Love is the key. Do not bring people back to church without love. As cliché as it may sound, loving them is what we must do—whether they come back to church or not. In their journey after leaving the church, they may have faced a lot of fears or struggles, such as losing friends, hurting family, being looked-down upon and judged, losing identity, etc. For some, these fears may have been the cause of their endless wave of emotions about leaving the church.

During this spiritual battle, trying to get them back to church will only hurt them more. What they need are friends and family who do not condemn their decisions and do not equate it as losing morals and faith in God. They need us to respect them when they request to not be contacted by the missionaries. They need our consideration to not preach to them that leaving the church was a mistake and they must repent. They need people who will listen to their reasons for leaving without judging them. They need friends who will not distance themselves once they become inactive. They need their families to stay together and not let the fear that their eternal family is no longer possible ruin their family relationship. They need us to stop doing things that reiterate the perception that “Mormons are God’s only people” because Mormons are not.

People leaving the church mostly need time to breathe. They need time to rediscover themselves and find for themselves their identity as a son or daughter of Heavenly Father. Some of them may return, some of them may leave for good. But regardless of their decision, the Lord wants us to love them all the same, the way He loves them. When we show our love to them, they will feel that our intentions are genuine and that they are not just another visiting teaching or home teaching “project” that we want to check off our list.

The fire to bring others back to church is good but it can sometimes consume our pure intentions. When someone leaves the church, our goal must be to continue to love them regardless of the status of their church activity. May we deliberately consider our intentions and actions so we do not push them further away. May love be at the center of all our missionary efforts to find those who are lost.

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1. Grab lunch with a friend. Think of someone who barely gets to go out or relax and take this friend somewhere simple and quiet to eat lunch, and catch-up with each other’s lives. But remember that this should be about taking her out to relax and have fun. Sharing your problems and struggles in life might not be a good idea. Focus on areas that would uplift you, not necessarily spiritual things, but something positive for you both.
2. Send a note to a friend you haven’t been in touch with this year. While grabbing lunch is a good idea, it might not be possible if a friend is living far away or overseas. Sending a note electronically is a convenient way of saying hello and letting them know that you’re thinking of them. Along with a few sentences about your own life, make sure to ask them how they are doing and what they are planning for Christmas. Even if you see each other’s updates and pictures on social media and hit the “Like” button once in a while, a private note is different. It has a more personal touch to it.
3. Make a DIY Christmas card for someone. If sending a virtual note is too mainstream, you can create your very own Christmas card and give or send it to a friend. There are lots of ideas you can find on Pinterest and other DIY sites that will teach you how to make an easy and affordable Christmas card.
4. Babysit for a couple one Friday night. Couples who have kids and are both working may sometimes find it difficult to include a “date night” in their busy schedule. For some, it might have been years since they had a date night so give them a short break and babysit their children for a few hours so they can get a nice, quiet meal together, watch a movie, etc. without having to worry about their kids at home. You can even invite a friend over to help babysit with you, if the parents are okay with it, to make things easier.
5. Help decorate someone’s house for Christmas. Although Christmas is a long-awaited season, some families might not have the time to put up their Christmas decorations or might not have the resources to do so. Ask if they have Christmas decorations or what decorations they already have at home, so you can plan on what to bring. This could be a Family Home Evening
6. Cook dinner for someone. Pick a family in your neighborhood or a family friend and prepare a meal for them. You might consider a family who recently had a baby, or is taking care of a sick loved one. The food does not have to be grand. Something as simple as rice and chicken adobo could be a huge blessing to someone.
7. Donate to Others. Clean out your closet and your food storage, donating clothes that you no longer use and food that will soon expire. You can hold a garage giveaway at your house and invite friends and families to take items that they need. You can also invite them to bring clothes and goods that they want to donate. This could be a great “give and take” activity in your community.

There are many service ideas that you can include on your Christmas to-do list. These acts of love can be done within and outside the walls of your home. Do you have any other Christmas service ideas? Share them in the comments section below for other readers to choose from.

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